hailedloco:

aight so I just like to imagine all the dead presidents come together every four years and set aside their differences to watch the elections. like FDR sitting next to Abe sitting next to Kennedy, everyone getting together and quietly pulling for their party’s nominee. Washington’s in a back corner just amazed that this system they set up two hundred-odd years ago is still in motion, Adams and Jefferson sitting with him just saying “holy shit, it’s still here” and the like to themselves the whole time. Tyler and Taylor and the rest all in another corner, shit-talking Nixon because hey, maybe nobody remembers them, but at least they didn’t fuck up bad enough to have to quit.

2008 was an interesting year because really, a black president? who saw that coming? and then 2016 comes along and they’re watching all throughout the primaries like aight, who’s it gonna be this time. and then as the shit show that we’ve become all too familiar with continues, there’s this slow creeping horror that spreads throughout the room, as finally the parties elect their nominees.

and then on the night of November 8, 2016, a hundred years after Wilson was elected and two hundred years after Monroe, they’re all sitting together with bated breath. we’ve already established that they don’t sit together along party lines, though Reagan and Nixon and Ike are in a cluster near the front because what the actual fuck has happened to their party. Washington’s still sitting in the back, though by now he’s muttering “I said, don’t do parties, and you know what? This is exactly what you fucking get,” and Buchanan shushes him because he just wants to hear the results. and every time a state is called for Hillary all the liberals cheer loudly, and every time a state is called for Trump there’s this uncomfortable silence that falls over the room for a few moments, because let’s be honest, absolutely none of the dead former presidents want him to join the club; the liberals hate every word that comes out of his mouth, and the Republicans still can’t believe that their party is supporting him (and the conservative non-Republicans, those from before the modern party system, quietly deny any party relation to that candidate).

and this doesn’t have an ending, not yet, because I’m writing this the night before the election hoping with all the other past presidents that by this time tomorrow they’re celebrating Hillary’s win instead of lamenting Trump’s. so go vote if you haven’t, and encourage others to go vote if you can’t or already have. go vote and do your part in making history, one way or another.