gothhabiba:

protheanbeacon:

realsubtle:

human-flesh-search:

I feel like k*nk is almost compulsory now and it scares me a lot

like I was reading this thing in vogue (I know I know) about how to ~Spice Things Up ;-)~ in the bedroom and there was a little story about one guy whose girlfriend wanted him to get rough during sex. He was really uncomfortable with it because, he said, he was raised to respect women or whatever so he didn’t want to hit his girlfriend?? And it was stressing him out and he talked to his friends about it and they were like, “well, you at least pull her hair and slap/spank her already, right?” Which is horrifying. But the story has a happy ending! See he tries slapping her in bed and he gets so upset that he can’t stay hard. I think his girlfriend cries. But then he Keeps Trying, and little by little he starts to get the hang of it! Now I assume he can have violent s*x without going limp, hoo-fucking-ray

but like just the attitude his friends had— “well OF COURSE you’re already chokefucking, her right?” and the way the article was like… idk… written trying to make it sound like his discomfort was just a hurdle keeping him from having Fun and Unrepressed sex or whatever ughughugh… I don’t know why bdsm/rough sex seems to be a mainstream thing right now, but I kind of suspect a lot of people are doing it more out of curiosity/boredom than because they really enjoy it and like that’s 1) super dangerous, and 2) maybe not the only option to explore if ur bored with your sex life?? I just hate it so much like I hate sex positivity I hate kink its so bad

just imo, its a symptom of society having become more ‘liberal’ in terms of permissible sexual behaviors but patriarchy and class being exactly where they were before. we are a society that still worships violence and subjugation and that bleeds over into the realm of sex as well

I saw a post the other day that was like “it’s 2016 stop pretending you don’t like being choked during sex” I wanted to fucking scream!!!

& I think that a lot of women are pressured into allowing themselves to be abused by men in the bedroom by this logic, because of course sex in which no one is being physically harmed or humiliated (and that someone, it’s implicitly assumed, is automatically going to be the woman) is supposedly “boring” or “prudish”….

how many times have we seen advice from women’s magazines and sex-positive feminists alike that goes “if you want to keep your man interested in you, you’ve Got To do things that are painful or unpleasant or humiliating or that you otherwise don’t want to do! it’s empowering!!”