tcfkag:

boykeats:

flatluigi:

veliseraptor:

seagodofmagic:

veliseraptor:

okay but I did not know that there is a story about f. scott fitzgerald nervously showing ernest hemingway his penis because zelda said he couldn’t satisfy a woman with it and ernest hemingway was like “lol no dude you’re fine”

what are the modernists even

the best part of that story in context is that before they pull out their dicks, hemingway spends the better part of a chapter physically describing fitzgerald in great detail, claiming to be grossed out by him but obviously, obviously uncomfortably attracted

oh my god, it got better. I just went to find an excerpt and

Scott was a man then who looked like a boy with a face between handsome and pretty. He had very fair wavy hair, a high forehead, excited and friendly eyes and a delicate long-lipped Irish mouth that, on a girl, would have been the mouth of a beauty. His chin was well built and he had good ears and a handsome, almost beautiful, unmarked nose. This should not have added up to a pretty face, but that came from the coloring, the very fair hair and the mouth. The mouth worried you until you knew him and then it worried you more.

ernest hemingway calm down and control your thirst a little

“The mouth worried you until you knew him and then it worried you more“ is a hell of a line 

you guys are leaving out one of the best parts! fitzgerald brought up this problem to hemingway while they were on a lunch date, right? well, because they were near the louvre, old earn hems was like, i know just what’ll help you feel better!

so after this lunch where hemingway spent a decent amount of time giving fitzgerald sex tips and reassuring him that he was a man of apt constitution, hemingway decided that the best way to put the man at ease was to show him the many dicks belonging to the naked men of classical sculptures, so that he could go home and give himself a reassuring comparison in the mirror later.

it was only after francis still wasn’t feeling hot that earnest went and took a proper look at him. the famed dick sighting happened in the louvre restroom. goodbye

When the real world reads like a scene that would have been edited out of a fan fiction for being “too unbelievable” and pure fandom wank.