ironoverwine:

stimcourse:

i think a big issue with aces wanting to be considered lgbt and thinking they’re entitled to include themselves amongst us is that their version of the lgbt community is so idealized they don’t understand it. they don’t understand that we can barely take care of ourselves, that kids still freeze in the streets because there aren’t enough room in lgbt centers (which are barely funded as it is), that trans women are being killed left and right, that gay kids are being kicked out of their homes, that lgbt people are killing themselves every day, that alcoholism and drug use is a huge problem in the community. they only see the pretty parts – the parades, the rainbow flags, the celebration of gay marriage, the culture, but they don’t understand that it’s not like that all the time. that most of the time we’re barely scraping by, that the resources, the beds, the scholarships run out so quickly, and there’s not even enough for us now

and honestly i’m gonna disregard all the fuckin discourse for a second about whether aces are even inherently lgbt and remind people that we honestly can’t support them. our resources, our shelters, our scholarships, our food were created for certain people and we don’t even have enough for ourselves, never mind them!

and to a degree, i can understand why aces might think the lgbt community is for them, because through their narrow view they only see the good parts, and they want to be a part of it, because they’re abnormal too, right? they’re not the norm either. but that view comes with a shitload of misunderstanding on their part and ignorance of our history. we didn’t come together as a “community” by chance. we were united by things like the aids crisis, like stonewall, and even now we’re just barely clinging on to each other when we’re not fighting amongst each other. they don’t understand that during the aids crisis our elders saw their friends dying around them and a government who ignored their existence, that they attended funerals every week, that they were barred from seeing their loved ones in the hospital because of who they were. they cannot understand, and they will never understand.

and i’ll say this: aces do deserve a community. they deserve support and resources too. but the lgbt community is not the one for them. we can barely take care of ourselves, and we are not the answer to their issues.

Hi. Ace person here to go what the absolute fuck.

Honestly, how far up your ass was your head when you made this post? I normally try to stay levelheaded when responding to things like this but damn. DAMN.

I think a big issue with tumblr gatekeepers like you trying to shut aces out is you don’t understand us. And you clearly haven’t made a single damn effort to try and understand either. What is this image you’ve built for yourself of aces? That we’re all quirky middle class normative white kids just talking shit from our computers cause we want to be special snowflakes? (wonder where I’ve heard that argument before?)

Ace people don’t know what the community is like? Seriously? You don’t think ace people are kicked out of their homes for being ace? Institutionalized for it? Lack of sexual attraction is still listed as a mental disorder in the DSM-5 unless the person self identifies as ace, and even that change is very recent. You’ve forgotten corrective rape is a disturbingly common thing? You’re just going to handwave the fact that ace identities frequently overlap with other queer and marginalized identities?

But more importantly, this entire bullshit post ignores the fact that ACES HAVE ALWAYS BEEN PART OF THE COMMUNITY. We were right there with you during the aids crisis and stonewall and before that. We couldn’t form an independent community until the 90′s when the internet allowed us to find each other, but asexuality has existed as long as human sexuality has been a thing and you can bet your ass discrimination was right there along side it. The LGBTA community was made in part by and for aces. God, it was only a few years ago everyone was throwing a fit about the A being Aces instead of Allies! How can you forget that you were fighting to include us so recently?

The most disgusting thing about this however is the idea that because resources are scarce right now we should start excising whole parts of the community, like Aces are expendable for the benefit of everyone else. As though that same rhetoric hasn’t been used against trans and poc members of the community all through its history as well. What happens when things get worse? Do we just keep dropping letters, building walls, pushing out the problematic communities until it’s just cis gay men? Cause you know, obviously they’ve suffered the most, right? They really deserve the resources. 

And that’s the heart of the issue- No one oppressed group deserves help more than another. We shouldn’t have to earn our inclusion any more than anyone else. No sexuality should be defined by its negative experiences. Discrimination is not a contest in which only the winners get to have a community and support. And when we divide and turn on the community this way, all we do is undermine everything we’ve worked for.

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