yourplayersaidwhat:

It’s the second session of an online campaign, using roll20 and Discord voice chat. The party is 6 level 1 characters and they’re fighting fifteen goblins in a dungeon. It’s the goblins’ turn while the players OOCly talk tactics.

DM (muttering under her breath): I’m super tempted…

Sorceror: Guys, I don’t like the way she just said she’s super tempted! Maybe we should talk about that!

DM: *cackles*

Cleric: Yeah, that’s not a good laugh.

DM: Okay, this goblin is gonna come up here…[six goblins now surround the paladin, who is at full health] And they’re all gonna swing at [paladin].

Paladin: *sigh* Okay, bring it on.

Most of them hit, and they roll well for damage.

Paladin (incredibly indignant and offended): HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED

DM: *already laughing her ass off*

Paladin: THAT YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL AND WONDERFUL AND ELEGANT PERSON, AND THAT IF WE EVER MET IN REAL LIFE I WOULD GIVE YOU A BIIIIIG HUG TO SHOW YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU, AND I WOULD LIFT YOU UP AND SPIN YOU AROUND AND THEN I WOULD DROP YOU OFF A CLIFF!!!!

The paladin was knocked out.