starbuckssollux:

The year is 2036. your a gay gardener you have your own house in a typical suburban neighborhood. your neighbor is a typical white bitchy soccer mom named susan who thought naming her two kids “katielynie” and “leahniheha” was a good idea. her kids get in your garden and ruin your plants. you complain to susan but she tells you she doesn’t care and blames you for not paying lots of money for a fence. you quit your job. you hire yourself as a garden decor salesman. but you make nothing but sexy gnomes. the shop is, somehow, a success. you place the unsold sexy gnomes in your backyard. all facing susan’s garden. she can’t go outside without seeing hundreds upon hundreds of gnomes. she’s furious that her kids have witnessed the slutty, slutty gnomes. she keeps complaining but you just say “if you don’t like it just build a fence” your living. you find a gay farmer who has a passion for making seductive plastic flamingos in their free time. susan is furious that her neighbor has surrounded her home with the slutty gnomes and seductive flamingos. life is good.