John Mulaney Sentence starters

roleplaymemes-ahoy:

Part 1: New In Town

30 to choose from, come may contain foul language. 

1. “I was hoping that by now I’d look older, but it didn’t happen.”
2. “Whoa, that tall child looks terrible.” 
3. “I always thought that quick sand was going to be a much bigger problem than it turned out to be.”
4. “I think I’m becoming more like my mom.”
5. “People always sush animals.” 
6. “Thirteen-year-olds are the meanest people in the world.”
7. “No! That’s I;m sensitive about!” 
8. “I once was on the telephone with Blockbuster Video…” 
9. “When people get mad at me it’s my fault.” 
10. “It’s wrong to make fun of people, but it’s so fun sometimes.” 
11. “I don’t like robots thinking of things.” 
12. “It’s easier to do nothing than it is to do something.” 
13. “That guy’s a bozo.” 
14. “I’m trying to in general take better care of myself.” 
15. “You ordered your food an hour ago, it should be here by now.” 
16. “NNOOoo!” 
17. “Life is a fucking nightmare.” 
18. “Whats that? Over there! Don’t do that!”
19. “I’m really sorry about last night, it’s just that I’m mean and loud.” 
20. “Here’s a story I once heard about me [Insert story here]” 
21. “Alright, let’s go over there and destroy the place.”
22. “We were like dogs without horses, we were running wild.” 
23. “FUCK DA POLICE!” 
24. “I’ve never climbed a fence that high before.”
25. “No” (You know like a liar) 
26. “Did I do that?” 
27. “Why? Why do you do this?” 
28. “I am often wrong.” 
29. “Could you help me out? I am very gay, I would like a few dollars.” 
30. “No, it’s okay I was lying.”