Category: Uncategorized

poetfish:

dreamhouse777:

if i was a pirate captain i would get a movie projector and play a movie on the big sails every friday night for my boys to kick back and enjoy some time off unless we were under attack

Pirates legit did the 16-17th century equivalent of this. When things were slow, they would put on plays, act out dramas of stories they knew, or freestyle. The most preferred model of original productions was courtroom drama: “trying” each other for piracy. The “accused” would list off their many, dramatically and humorously embellished crimes, and be equally dramatically sentenced. Sometimes there was a daring escape, sometimes just a really maudlin death scene, but a good time was had by all.

fozmeadows:

lioness–hart:

pyrrhiccomedy:

based on extensive observation, I believe that my cats have only a tenuous grasp on how much of my body is “me”

It’s like, Head: definitely Big Friend, note eyes and noise-hole.

Hands: 90% certainty of Big Friend, 10% possibility of toy. comprised of two main parts, the rubby-rubby and the wriggly-scritchers. does Big Friend control them with her mind? the mechanism is unclear.

Arms, aka “Cuddle Snakes”: do these help Big Friend’s hands from getting lost? good place to sit.

Torso: ??? we have no idea what this is. smells like Big Friend but serves no observable purpose. treat as terrain.

Legs, see: “The Lap Conundrum”: 25% chance of Big Friend, totally uninteresting. WHEN LAP: 90% chance of Big Friend, excellently warm. where does the lap go? our finest cat scientists seek the answer to this mystery, but no breakthroughs as of yet.

Feet, aka “Twitchy-Kickers”: 10% chance of Big Friend, 90% chance of foe. all attempts to communicate have ended in hostility. Destroy on sight.

This is so accurate it’s physically painful.

I love this post with my whole heart.

bramgreenfeld:

Simon “I like your boots” Spier and Bram “I-sat-on-the-same-lunch-table-as-my-crush-every-day-for-two-years-and-managed-to-say-a-grand-total-of-three-words-to-him-in-person” Greenfeld are so lucky they found each other and don’t have to subject anyone else to their terrible flirting techniques