– someone is speaking to me with words right now, but i cant hear it
– *stims for the first time in a while* HOLY SHIT
– need. headphones.
– why did my voice come out of my mouth that way
– Music I Like Must Be Loud Enough To Consume My Entire Body
– NUMB?eRS¿???
– one foot stepped on a sidewalk crack so now i must step on a crack with my other foot for them to feel even again
– IM GGONNA EAT MY WHOLE RNTIRE SPECIAL INTEREST
– m u s t o r g a n i z e
Tag: actuallyautistic
I was talking about people investing their identity in being so-called “Autism Moms” and my girlfriend rephrased that as investing their identity in being victims of their children
And honestly, that’s the most perfect summation of the Autism Parent phenomenon I’ve ever heard. They give their child just enough agency to be the villains.
concept: i go to a potluck, choose the food i can eat, and am not referred to as ‘fussy’ for not being able to tolerate certain tastes and textures
The Problems with ‘To Siri With Love’
You, like myself, may have heard a buzz about autistic people boycotting the recently-published nonfiction novel To Siri With Love. Seeing the controversy surrounding this publication, I decided to take a short break from my university assignments and do a little research for myself about the book and the issues it raises, hoping to be able to explain in short why the #BoycottToSiri movement is so important to the autistic community. The book is a memoir written by Judith Newman about her experiences with her autistic son, Gus. That alone is not a bad concept, but some of the comments the author makes send nasty shivers down my spine. To start with, here’s some of the smaller problems that were discovered:
- The author did not ask her teenage son’s permission or advice when writing an invasive commentary on his life, a choice she views as “selfish but necessary.” She also published text conversations between Gus and his friends. Though I cannot claim to know whether or not anyone involved consented to have their words published, it is difficult to overlook the possibility that they did not.
- Transphobic comments regarding the use of the terms “cisgender” and “they” (as opposed to “he or she”) to be an “ugly and imprecise” evolution of language. Also, I there’s something that rubs me the wrong way about her insistence on using “the masculine pronoun” when “talking about people in generalities”, but I can’t pinpoint exactly what it is that makes me feel so uneasy about that.
- Newman described popular autism advocate Amythest Schaber using a sexist movie trope by saying that they resemble “everyone’s favourite manic pixie dream girl.”
- Made the ableist claim that someone like her son will “never have real friends,” which is incredibly insulting to autistic and otherwise neurodivergent individuals.
- Declined using person-first language in her book not because of the many valid criticisms about the dehumanisation of autistic people but because it is “clunky” and she didn’t want to have to write “the phrase “person with autism” over and over again.”
- Continued the long ableist trend of desexualising disabled people when she mocked the possibility of her son having any sort of romantic experience (“I could not imagine that any girl, anywhere, would find him interesting at this point”) and described the situation as one she imagines to be soundtracked by “Benny Hill” theme.
Now we get onto the main problem of To Siri With Love, and it concerns the topic of eugenics. In the novel, Newman declared that she wanted to get Power of Attorney so that she could force her son to have a vasectomy so he couldn’t have children, so that she could have “one less worry. For [her.]” She then asked how she could make such a comment “without sounding like a eugenicist,” which only makes it worse by highlighting that she understands the horrific concept of eugenics. She then explains the unpleasant history of eugenics, acknowledging how “the history of disability is inextricably intertwined with the history of euthanizing and enforced sterilization,” but admits that she would still be “the first in line to sign him up.”
I hope this explanation sheds some light onto the problematic nature of this memoir and the ableist commentary within it. Please, if you want to read a real-life story about autistic life, do yourself a favour and read any one of the countless memoirs by members of the autistic community instead of the undeniable ableism presented by Judith Newman.
(Quotes are taken from screenshots of the book posted to Twitter by disability inclusion advocate Andrea Pregel, as well as from a tweet by Elizabeth Roderick and a screenshot from Amythest Schaber.)
surprising positives that have come from #BoycottToSiri:
- getting to see a ton of autistic people being vocal about their upset and demanding to be listened to and respected. rock on my dudes.
- the voices of autistic writers in particular being amplified which is especially great because of how little recognition they usually get.
- actuallyautistic advocates and activists using the boycott as a jumping off point to talk about really important issues that otherwise might not get the same publicity.
- autistic parents and kids of autistic parents speaking out against eugenics and forced sterilization.
- autistic parents becoming more visible in general!! i never really had any idea how many autistic parents there were because i, like many autistic people, was raised with the mindset that we were inherently unfit for parenting as a whole. i legitimately don’t think i even realized how wrong that concept was until now because it was just so ingrained into my understanding of the world, which is all kinds of fucked up and all too common.
- some of the reviews and commentary on its contents have made me realize how common certain experiences with abuse are for autistic people, and after years of being gaslighted and struggling to let myself even acknowledge my trauma never mind heal from it, it’s really validating to know that a) i did experience what i experienced b) those things weren’t the Nothing allistics claimed they were; they were indeed acts of abuse c) other people have experienced the same thing and have been able to make steps towards recovery.
- now whenever someone asks what an Autism Mom is we have a clear and easily recognizable example along with a lengthy list of thoroughly documented Don’ts for parents of autistic children.
- expanding on that, to siri is just such a perfect example of every reason to take ableism against autistic people seriously. allistics, yall have no excuse not to educate yourself because this- THIS- is what your ignorance leads to. you have no reason to act surprised when people call your bullshit out because apparently when we slack off you go and publish a whole fuckin book about the extensive emotional abuse of your autistic son.
- tl;dr to siri is disgusting and it sucks big time that it exists, but it’s also created an important discussion and it makes me overwhelmingly proud to see these awesome autistic voices rising up to take part in it.
allistics can like/reblog but don’t comment
Boycott To Siri With Love
If you are planning on reading or gifting “To Siri With Love” by Judith Newman, please be aware that the autistic community has called for a boycott.
The book is a grotesque invasion of the 13-year old son’s privacy including her cruel observations that imagining him having sex is accompanied by the Benny Hill soundtrack in her head. She plans to acquire power of attorney to have him forcibly sterilized when he is 18 without his consent.Books having a long shelf life, this tell-all laughing at his struggles with social communication, motor apraxia, etc. may make her a lot of money and has gotten her on the NYT book list, however that book is going to follow him for the rest of his life. It is child abuse in printed format.
Okay, so I read the first twenty pages of the book, and HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS IT’S BAD.
- The author begins by saying she hates ‘patronizing’ phrases, but then:
- She says she’ll use ‘he’ as the default pronoun because she hates the singular ‘they’ – I quote, “Language needs to evolve, but not into something ugly and imprecise.” She then goes on to bash the word ‘cisgender’ as supposedly pretentious.
- She casually mentions looking at her kids’ Google search history as a matter of course.
- While discussing the rise in autism diagnosis rates, she says, word for word: “Or whether it’s because slightly odd people who used to be single are having more of a chance to breed”
- She consistently uses person-first language, despite having poked fun at it earlier.
- She consistently focuses on her (very privileged, narrow, making no attempt to widen it) worldview rather than her child’s.
And that’s just within the first twenty pages.
Here is a post by an actually autistic lady detailing the horrible, callous, dehumanizing way this author speaks of autistic people, the way said author has behaved on Twitter towards autistic people, and yes the author’s unashamed declaration that she intends to forcibly sterilize her autistic son who was, let me remind you, thirteen years old at the time she wrote the book (and is still a minor).
In conclusion, fuck this woman. Absolutely boycott this book. As an autistic person, I know our voices are incredibly diverse, but I think I speak for all of us in saying this: I do not want to be condescended to by people who pretend they’re on my side.
It’s almost 2018! Fun ideas for the upcoming year:
•stop acting like autistics can’t take care of themselves by default
•stop acting like autistics can’t enjoy romantic and/or sexual relationships
•stop saying you know what autism is like if you’re not autistic
•stop saying people aren’t/can’t be autistic because they don’t show the “neurotypical approved” signs
•be a good ally to autistic people – if you don’t know how, ask one!
– stop using functioning labels
– stop pretending asperger’s is separate from autism or is a “milder form”
– stop using the r-slur
– if you call an autie Rain Man they reserve the right to punch you
– GIVE US CANON AUTISTIC CHARACTERS WHO AREN’T THIN, WHITE, OR CIS MALES.
-Stop pretending girls can’t have autism
-Stop babying autistic kids
– Stop acting like Autism is only visible with fidgeting
REALLY COOL THINGS TO NORMALISE:
- Teenagers and adults buying and wearing kiddie stuff [clothing, bags, toys etc] in public
- Neurodivergient teenagers and adults buying and wearing kiddie stuff [clothing, bags, toys etc] in public
- Autistic teenagers and adults buying and wearing kiddie stuff [clothing, bags, toys etc] in public
- Teenagers and adults talking about kiddie special interests [movies, TV shows etc] in public
- Neurodivergient teenagers and adults talking about kiddie [or any] special interests [movies, TV shows etc] in public
- Autistic teenagers and adults talking about kiddie [or any] special interests [movies, TV shows etc] in public
- Colourful, cute and bright bags, clothing and accessories made for everyone, not just children
- Teenagers and adults fully showing emotions like sadness, anger or fear without any repercussions from anyone
- Autistic teenagers and adults fully showing emotions like sadness, anger or fear without any repercussions from anyone
- Neurodivergient teenagers and adults fully showing emotions like sadness, anger or fear without any repercussions from anyone
- Neurodivergient teenagers and adults stimming vocally and physically without any repercussions from anyone
- Autistic teenagers and adults stimming vocally and physically without any repercussions from anyone
- Autistic children, teenagers or adults talking or coming out about their emotional, physical, psychological or sexual abuse without being [non]explicitly told that it was all a misunderstanding or just in their head or invalid because of their neurological psychological condition
- Neurodivergient children, teenagers or adults talking or coming out about their emotional, physical, psychological or sexual abuse without being [non]explicitly told that it was all a misunderstanding or just in their head or invalid because of their neurological psychological condition
- They them pronouns because they’re not just used to describe more than one thing
REALLY COOL THINGS TO DEMONISE:
- Ableism. Just… ableism
- Bullying neurodivergient autistic kids, teenagers and adults by making cringe compilations online or using them as ‘memes’ on the internet just to make fun of them
- Using Autistic, Schizo, Crazy, Retard, Insane and Psycho as insults towards nerodivergients and autistics
- Parents killing their neurodivergient autistic children because they weren’t the child that they wanted
- Parents abusing their neurodivergient autistic children or teenagers and thinking they can get away with it because their neurological psychological condition
- Shaming neurodivergient autistic kids, teenagers or adults because of their appearance, mannerisms, stimming or clothing accessorises that they wear
- Saying that society won’t change to not shame and fully accept neurodivergient autistic kids, teenagers and adults because it’s ‘always been that way’
- Not being able to be yourself because of how society views non-neurotypical, non-straight, non-cisgender, non-mentally well kids, teenagers and adults
- ABLEISM. JUST… ABLEISM
Feel free to add more!
If you’re an NT, it’s ok to reblog this too!! [ just don’t say anything nasty in the tags. I’m watching ]
please be aware of all the ways autistic people are actively dehumanized, including
-acting like it would be better off for everyone if we didn’t exist
-being trained to obey, and punished for saying no
-using ‘worked with children with autism’ in a similar way to ‘worked with dogs’
-assuming we don’t have meaningful friendships that aren’t born of a neurotypical pitying us
-assuming we don’t have romantic relationships
-assuming we don’t have sex drives
-debating if it is ethical to allow autistic kids to be born
-denying the existence of autistic adults
-debating whether it is better to have an autistic child, or risk your child dying of a life-threatening disease
-silencing our voices in conversations about us
-treating us like a science experiment
-comparing autistic people to animals
-using terms like ‘put out of their misery’ when describing our murders
-justifying our abuse and torture
-etc, etc
ruby-dear archive 