chasertiff – ruby-dear archive

chasertiff:

ruby-dear:

okay so i’m probably 7856454 years late to this realization but
…i guess the reason straight people don’t really think our identities matter that much to us is because theirs don’t to them?
like, i think about how not straight i am all the time
but they don’t do that, do they?
they don’t walk around thinking ‘i’m soooo straight’, right?
so they don’t think it’s a big deal to other people
maybe that’s it and maybe it’s not but i mean
it’s something to think about for me

This is actually something that is super important to discussions of diversity and identity.

The people on top don’t “see” their identity the way the marginalized do. Men talk about the fact that they identify as men, but it’s not a part of their identity in the way that “woman” is for a woman – trans identities similarly challenge the status quo, and so you have groups of people who look at society’s expectations and say “I am not that. What am I?”

But people who meet the requirements of society never have to stop and think, “is this me?”

And so people don’t “realize” they’re straight because they don’t have to stop and think about it. People don’t “realize” they’re white because they don’t have to stop and think about it. People don’t realize they’re cis or abled because they never have to question what it would be like to not be what they are.

Academics aside and personal opinion: I feel like this phenomenon is a huge reason for the push back against these discussions by the people on top. People are offended that they are called sexist and racist, sure, but I think what’s most unnerving to these people is that they suddenly have to call who they are into question. They have to be aware of their whiteness or their gender or their sexuality in a way they didn’t have to be before.