Gru: [walks into kitchen] Is something burning?
Lucy: [leans against counter seductively] Just my love for you.
Gru: The toaster is on fire.

Dru: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you’ve lost throughout your life.
Scarlet: It would be nice to get my sense of purpose back.
Balthazar: Oh, lovely, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this.
Gru: My will to live! I haven’t seen this in 15 years!
Herb: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!
Lucy: Mental stability, my old friend!
Dru: Guys, could you lighten up a little?

Gru: So Dru sneezed earlier and I accidentally said ‘shut the fuck up’ instead of ‘bless you’.
Lucy: How can you accidentally say that?

Gru: I have no heart. Love is for fools. I’m a Badass Bitch™ who doesn’t need anyone in my li-
Lucy: Hi!
Gru: …Well fuck

Dru: Why are you naked?
Gru: I don’t have clothes.
Dru: *Opens Gru’s closet* You have shirts, pants, jackets, hi Lucy, scarves…

Herb: I’m going to Taco Bell, you guys want anything?
Scarlet: A better childhood
Lucy: I want my parents back
Gru: My mother to pay attention to me
Herb: Yeah, I got like twelve dollars.

Dru: good morni-
Gru: I don’t have the energy to pretend to like you today

Whilst tied up

Lucy: Gotta say, Gru…
Lucy: This isn’t how I imagined our first time using restraints.
Gru: What?
El Macho: What?

Scarlet: When you’ve been a great super villain for as long as i have, you develop a thick skin-
Fabrice: Red’s not really your color
Scarlet: Red brINGS OUT MY EYES YOU PRICK!

Someone from the AVL told me to grow up. I was speechless. It’s hard to say anything when you have 45 gummy bears in your mouth.

Lucy Wilde (via incorrectdespicablemequotes)