yourplayersaidwhat:

DM: The door is locked and cannot be picked. 

Paladin (Half-Orc): I choose to break the door open quietly.

DM: You can’t just…break a door quietly.

Fighter (Human): What if he bends the door from the top?

DM: IT’S A WOODEN DOOR. YOU CAN’T BEND WOOD.

Fighter: Well we know that, but does the door know that?

DM: You can’t be serious.

Cleric (Harpy): Yeah who says the door knows it can’t bend!

DM: For fuck sake fine I’ll roll for the DOOR’S intelligence.

(rolls a 1)

DM: Oh my fucking god.

Paladin: Hell yeah! All right so I quietly bend the door open…