My cousin’s showing me a mockumentarh movie called ‘What We Do In The Shadows’ about a group of vampires in NZ, Taika Waititi is one of the vampires, it’s like 2 mins in and I love it
The vampires are flatmates and are arguing about no one washing the bloody dishes
“I’m embarrassed when I bring people over!”
“What does it matter, you bring them over you kill them!”
“The other day, I was dragging a body across the floor, I noticed, not much dust.”
“…”
“I kind of swept?”
“She (girl he fell in love with) gave me this (locket) before she left. She told me it is pure silver.”
….
“Unfortunately, we vampires, cannot wear silver.”
*cuts to Taika wearing the locket, his chest smoking*
*talking about drinking virgin blood*
“I like to think of it like this. I think you would enjoy a sandwich more if you knew no one had fucked it.”
“What are we?”
Group as one: “werewolves not swearwolves”
“You led a vampire hunter into our house?!”
“I just gave him my email!”
“His soul is in hell.”
“I don’t care where his soul is, where’s his blanket?”
Whenever you think life is too normal, just remember there was a version of Phantom of the Opera where the Phantom was raised by rats with telepathic powers.
Oh my god, I hate that I know what you’re talking about. Wikipedia is a cruel mistress
I think my favorite line from the movie may be “I’M NOT A PHANTOM, I’M A RAT.” If you haven’t seen it– well, don’t if you have a rat phobia, but do if you love bad bad BAD movies!
Above image is literally a still from the movie where the phantom shoves rats down his pants. I wish I was kidding; this stupid movie scarred me for life and I have seen some messed up movies!
How the hell does this even work? What’s his deformation, the fact that he was raised by rats or some crap?
He has no physical deformation whatsoever. His parents dumped him in a sewer when he was a baby and the rats raised him as one of their own. Despite this, he has a perfect command of the English language, shaves, and wears clothes. He contacts Christine with telepathic powers he learned from the rats (I am not making that up). He doesn’t teach her to sing. He sniffs her and literally says, “YOUR FEMALE SMELLLLL REMINDS ME OF THE ROLLING OCEAN,” like creepy af!
That’s not even getting into the other weird junk in this movie: Raoul looks like Prince for some reason, the Phantom threatens to carve off Carlotta’s boobs if she doesn’t step down from the lead role of Romeo et Juliette, weird brothel/Turkish bath scene, there are these two steampunk rat catchers, these drunk treasure hunters that the Phantom kills horribly, the most disgusting sex scenes this side of The Room, bad dubbing, and a hilariously violent ending. Like it is a miracle of bad storytelling.
You can’t forget about the Phantom’s WTF rooftop hallucinations (?) of naked guys caught in a mouse trap and Christine wearing seaweed or Christine’s sassy maid hitting a chair over a guy’s head (what I wouldn’t give to have been a fly on the wall for the entire shoot of the film).
And of course one of the best line reads in all of film history: “ZE PHANTOM’S WHORE!!!”
do u ever really think about the Holy Grail filming though
the primary camera which had been specially designed broke on their very first day of filming so everything was delayed as hell while they sourced a new one
they couldn’t get Scotland to let them use its National Trust castles so they ended up using the same one for every single fucking castle and/or used paper cutouts
the only reason they used the music they did was because after a whole fucking soundtrack had been written they realised their budget didn’t actually expand to an orchestra, so they used stock music and the only actual original Python song in the whole deal is Knights Of The Round Table
Graham had delirium tremens during his very first take, suddenly realised and admitted that he was an alcoholic, and was consequently hammered out of his brain for the remainder of filming so he wouldn’t go into the DTs again
as a result of this he constantly picked fights with the other Pythons, extras and random hotel staff
and constantly forgot half his lines
and ran ass naked up and down hotel corridors yelling “Betty Marsden” until Michael asked him to stop so he could sleep (and so Michael then woke up to a note pushed under his door reading “with love, Betty Marsden”)
but miraculously still no one realised Gray’s drinking was making him so ill and so Michael’s diaries are full of random excuses for why he was shaking his ass off every morning (“we were up v high today I think Gray was scared” “I didn’t think it was that cold but Graham was shivering” “gosh tensions are running so high Gray was so mad with us he was literally shaking”)
the Terrys tried to codirect and fell out over literally everything
and consequently constantly reshot each other’s takes behind the other’s back
John kept getting upset because he doesn’t like being dirty and/or cold and they were in fucking Scotland and “there wasn’t enough hot water for a shower”
John and Eric consequently switched hotels from the rest of the cast and crew so John could get his fucking shower
they were all wearing knitted “armour” and I reiterate this was fucking freezing wet Scotland so they all froze half to death and had to keeping shooting anyway
and John got so pissed at Terry Gilliam’s directing style (“treating us like pieces of paper”) that he eventually essentially told him to fuck off, so filming was delayed even further so Terry G could go and be offended and cry and sulk by a wall
the highest grossing British comedy film of all time, everyone.
Someone needs to make a movie of the making of this movie
Seconded.
Well…it’s not that, but Lost in La Mancha is close as you can get, I suppose?
I just want to get a few things out of the way because I know tumblr and how they react to this.
-yes the cast is white Irish/Englishman portraying Eastern Europeans
-Yes they speak in very English accents
-yes there is a somewhat forced heterosexual subplot
But please. For the love of God. Don’t. Boycott it over this. This film is about genocide. About the systematic killing of Ukrainians. There has never been a film about this, it’s never taught in any history book, and to this day Russia denies it ever happened.
This movie is so critical, and as a Ukrainian I am begging you not to shit on it and go full sjw for not accurately depicting the people of the region. Believe me we, Ukrainians, do not fucking care that the representation is not 100% accurate. Seriously, every Ukrainian in the comments of the trailer is begging people to forget about the English accents and are just relieved people are finally learning about this. we want our story heard and we want the world to be aware of Ukrainian suffering and take interest in the nations current state of affairs. Please support Bitter Harvest when it comes out in February.
This is the trailer in quiestion:
PLEASE don’t shit on this movie because apparently the cast isn’t Slavic People.
I can’t even tell you how much it means to us, Ukrainians, that Hollywood makes a movie about GEMOCIDE IN UKRAINE that so many people don’t even know about! I don’t care there will be a romantic plotline, I don’t care that it wob’t be 100% historic accurate. I just want people to know that Holodomor happened, that it was the man-made genocide, that it was the crime communists don’t want to take responsibilty for still.
The cast isn’t Slavic but the makers are. The film production was financed by Ian Ihnatowycz, a Canadian whose parents fled post-war Ukraine. Writer, Richard Bachynsky Hoover, and director, George Mendeluk are both are Canadians of Ukrainian descent.
Ihnatowycz: “I wanted to make this story understood more widely so making it English language with a known cast will hopefully help make it more appealing to a western audience.” (source)
why is this cracker the main character of a movie set in CHINA
full offense but fuck this white guy lmao
“1700 years to build. 5500 miles long. what were they trying to keep out?”
the huns. they were trying to keep out the huns. the huns were what were being kept out of china via the wall that china built. that great wall, which was built by china, was made to keep out the invaders, known as the huns. it was the huns who were being blocked by the wall that china built, which was a great weall. it was the huns who
uh, no? it says on the poster Matt Damon. They were trying to keep out Matt Damon.
I know that after seeing so many egregious examples of whitewashing, it’s infuriating to see yet another movie featuring a white man as the hero in a land that is definitely not white. But let me tell you why The Great Wall is different.
Unlike The Last Airbender, Prince of Persia, Ghost in the Shell, Gods of Egypt, and Doctor Strange, The Great Wall is not inserting a white actor into a role meant for a non-white actor. This is an original story by Chinese director Zhang Yimou (famous for Hero and House of Flying Daggers), filmed in Qingdao, China, and featuring one of the largest Chinese casts ever.
Did you only see Matt Damon in advertising? That’s because the Chinese people involved with the film know that Americans will recognize an American actor. This is targeted marketing. If you actually look at the cast, Damon co-stars with Chinese actors Andy Lau, Jing Tian, Han Lu, and more.
The Chinese film industry is trying to break into the American market by featuring a prominent American actor. Don’t boycott The Great Wall for attempting to appeal to American audiences. Matt Damon’s entire purpose is to lure Americans into the theater for Jason Bourne and expose them to Chinese actors already well known in China.
A similar example to The Great Wall is the upcoming action-comedy film Skiptrace starring Jackie Chan and Johnny Knoxville. A Chinese actor and a white actor are co-starring and the film involves a road trip from Mongolia to Hong Kong. If you’re still displeased with Matt Damon, go see that.
Tl;dr if you want to support Chinese people in movies, watch The Great Wall (Feb 17, 2017) and watch Skiptrace (Sep 2, 2016).
If you do a little reading up on the film you’ll see that it’s fantasy based and there are monsters that they are fighting, this movie is not trying to rewrite history or tell fact, it’s just trying to tell a weird fantasy story rooted in China.
And the lead role was intended to be a white actor for story reasons, he’s an outsider, he was never meant to be Chinese, y’all need to chill and actually watch the films instead of getting all riled up about something you don’t want to see in the first place.
I FEEL MUCH BETTER ABOUT THIS MOVIE SUDDENLY.
>Why is a white guy in this Chinese movie? Lets punish the Chinese director and 99% Chinese cast by not going to see it.
“Progressive”
Honestly this look like a lot of fun. And it is clearly a fantasy work.
Also, lets remember, that the same people who freak out by there being no black people in early European settings also freak out about there being Europeans in Asian settings. Because what is consistency?
This is an Asian movie trying to reach a Western audience. It’s that simple people.
Okay now that’s clever.
This is something where SJW’s who are so intent on going “AHA! Whitewashing!” that they don’t read more into it before jumping on it.
And I say this as an SJW myself. Sometimes I swear people dump on what they see as an affront like they’ll win points for pointing out racism or whatever.
But it makes all social justice warriors look bad. Always dig more before you pull the “AHA! You’re racist/sexist/ableist/etc!”
I admit I fall into that pattern too, but I’m trying to break it and I hope others learn from this post, too.
Let’s also focus less on how Emma Watson’s taking parts in problematic films, which she seems to be doing largely because her managers tell her it’s the only way to make it past Harry Potter, and more on how James Franco, Seth Rogan, Jonah Hill Jay whatsisface, and Cahnning Tatum made uncomfortable sex jokes and rape jokes around her until she was so uncomfortable she left halfway through filming This is the End- but by contract had to still be in the movie.
Let’s talk about how Evangeline Lilly signed onto the Hobbit movies on the condition that her character not be in a love triangle, and everyone involved rewrote the character so that she was, and she couldn’t leave. Let’s talk about how actresses are signed into films whose final products are the opposite of what they want to be a part of, and still wind up on-screen playing terrible, problematic, sexist roles, or even being sexually harassed and assaulted while on set. Let’s talk about the implications of an industry where women have no control over the part they play or the story they’re used to tell, and are forced to make difficult decisions about which producers and directors will and won’t completely screw them over.
ruby-dear archive 