Tag: harry potter

strictlybecca:

rachellephant:

rebeccacrane:

porcelain-horse-horselain:

Hermione Granger: *comes from muggle world and discovers magic*

Hermione Granger: *witnesses humans transfigure into animals*

Hermione Granger: *time-travels multiple times per day*

Professor Trelawney: “I can prophesize the future.”

Hermione Granger: “Bullshit. That can’t be possible. Fuck you.”

#you gotta draw the line somewhere #you gotta draw the fucking line in the sand dude #you gotta make a statement #you gotta look inside yourself and say #what am i willing to put up with today #not fucking this    

anyways hermione is a cutthroat bitch and her demonizing divination is due to the fact that she literally #cannot with emotional forms of magic. quidditch? which requires an emotional partnership of trust with the broom? nope. divination? which requires an emotional openness and willingness to forego logical conclusion at the whims of fate? are u fuckin kidding me. patronuses? which require not just technical skill but also a deep connection with your own emotional core? uhhhhh we’ll just let harry handle that one.

movie!hermione, w/ her advanced emotional intelligence and absolute willingness to meet each and every emotional need the boys have, should have of course been good at emotional magics like divination. shes fucking superwoman. but book!hermione? who destroyed a girls face without mercy because she ratted out the DA? who erased her parents memories so she could fight in a war? who solved dumbledores’ mysteries using ancient runes, an art that is practically the math of magic? book!hermione will destroy you and she will do it armed with the cold hard facts and the cold hard facts alone. book!hermione doesn’t give a shit. instead of getting a regular pet, book!hermione was drawn to a magical cat who is self-serving and intellectual and helped her gather clues rather than serving as an emotional companion. i mean fck.

full offense but hermione is so hardcore and logic-driven and she literally could give a SHIT about ur feelings

@lisapanda

acegraysons:

So at the end of Prisoner of Azkaban, Sirius says to Hermione, “You really are the brightest witch of your age,” with an emphasis on the “are,” implying that someone previously had told him that Hermione was super fucking smart and he was just then affirming it

But like, who told him that? He didn’t really get a chance to talk to Harry or Ron or Lupin between “I didn’t kill your parents” and “oh shit werewolf” and “I’m about to get the dementor’s kiss.”

So I like to think that it was Crookshanks who told him, coz Crookshanks and Padfoot were friends, right? I can imagine Crookshanks just going on and on about Hermione, like “My human is the best human, she’s so smart and lovely and perfect, just wait till you meet her, I love her so much”

shieldmaidenofsherwood:

macklesufficient:

now i deeply, deeply love the boggart lesson scene in poa for all of its symbolic/character implications but im sure that shit would’ve only worked in the nineties

like can u imagine that scenario with millennials??? poor remus would have to deal with shit like Abandonment and Crushing Poverty hoppin out of the wardrobe and gettin turned into none pizza with left beef

#*remus lupin voice* why did that student loan check turn into a sad frog

frustratedoctor:

writer-of-the-dragons:

cannibalswelcome:

tygerflower:

mypocketshurt90:

intelligencehavingfun:

Hatstalls, from JKR via Pottermore

Okay but the Hat was just like, “Sure kid whatever” when Harry requested against Slytherin.  What kind of conversation was this?

NO NEVILLE I CAN’T DO THAT YOU HAVE THE HEART OF A LION

THE WIZARD OF OZ WILL GIVE YOU COURAGE NEVILLE

HAKUNA MATATA NEVILLE

DO NOT RECITE THE DEEP MAGIC TO ME NEVILLE I WAS THERE WHEN IT WAS WRITTEN

Okay, I’ve seen this post a couple of times & something just occurred to me. 

Harry was pretty 50/50 Gryffindor/Slytherin from what I remember the hat saying (and according to the wiki blurb on hatstalls having a fairly equal split of traits from more than one house is the common cause of them) so when he asked not to be put into Slytherin the hat was fine with taking that preference into account and put him in Gryffindor. (Also the fact that the hat said he could be great and powerful in Slytherin and Harry’s response was pretty much no I don’t want that pretty clearly demonstrates non-Slytherin traits.)

On the other hand, the above doesn’t mention the hat being at all indecisive about where to put Neville. The hat wasn’t going “hmmm this is tough you’re pretty Gryffindor but you’re kind of Hufflepuff too”. It was probably more like “Yep! Gryffindor for sure!” Followed by Neville being all “No I’m totally a Hufflepuff!” and then proceeding to argue with the hat about it for almost 5 minutes. (Which when you think about it is a super Gryffindor thing to do.) By the end the hat was probably like oh my god kid you’re so Gryffindor you’re practically Godric’s heir shut up and get sorted there already!

“You’re practically Godric’s heir!”

As Neville pulls the sword of Gryffindor from the depths of the hat seven years later, the hat must have been so fucking smug. Like “oh yeah kid, this is such a Hufflepuff thing to do. Charge in with a blade and the bare basics of a plan that basically boils down to ‘I trust Harry, kill the snake.’ Helga would TOTALLY have done that. Oh wait! Did I say Helga? I MEANT GRYFFINDOR!”

“Hakuna Matata Neville”

brightowl:

accio-shitpost:

i just can’t get over how perfect the weasley family’s presents were to harry and ron on their seventeenth birthdays, even though superficially they’re the same thing

ron, who grew up poor and often got hand-me-downs from his brothers, got a brand new watch – he probably wasn’t that used to getting new things

whereas harry, who never really had much of a family history to connect to, got molly’s brother fabian’s watch, something with a lot of history and personal connection behind it that linked him to and made him a part of the weasley family

This is not a shitpost. This is beautiful and necessary meta.