i love that part in heathers where jd, after having ONE (1) prior conversation with veronica, decides to talk for 3 minutes straight about slushies, his depression and how fucking aroused he is by 7-11 and veronica “thirstiest bitch in all of musical theatre” sawyer is just like “wow. thats hot.”
veronica: you have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair
jd: anyone who’s seen my dick and met my parents needs to die
chandler: sometimes babies will point at me, and i don’t care for that shit at all
duke: i’m sorry about last night, it’s just that i’m mean and loud
mcnamara: why do people shush animals? they’ve never spoken
martha: 13 year olds are the meanest people in the world, they scare me to this day
kurt: and i had that thought…that only blackout drunks…and steve urkel can have…”did i do that?”
ram: for years, scientists have wondered, “can you make grown men and women weep tears of joy by playing tom jones’ ‘it’s not unusual’?”, and the answer is YES YOU CAN
ms. fleming: i look like i was just sitting in a room in a chair eating saltines for like 28 years
Beautiful: veronica? being unpopular? it’s more likely than you thin- wait nevermind the color coded gays are here to save the day
Candy Store: give the note to fat and step into my store of treats while i high kick into oblivion
Fight For Me: p l ease p u n ch m e t oo
Freeze Your Brain: i stick my dick in slushies ok IT HELPS ME VERONICA YOU WOULDN’T UNDERSTAND
Big Fun: Y O U N E E D A J E L L O S H O T
Dead Girl Walking: let’s break the emo’s dick haha fun
Me Inside of Me: i said chandler are you dead, she said, “yEAh, i’m dead”
Blue: my male genitalia is a shade of blue
Our Love is God: the dinosaurs are D E A D
My Dead Gay Son: gay fishing trip affair
Seventeen: love me you emo fuck
Shine A Light: ah yes singing can cure depression
Lifeboat: aLL MY FRIENDS ARE D E A D PUSH ME TO THE E D G E
Shine A Light (Reprise): the green is a M E A N
Kindergarten Boyfriend: ram please love me i have a horse AND IT DOES THE FLAPPING OF WINGS
Yo Girl: girl u fucked
Meant To Be Yours: blowing up a school is a symbol of my love you whore
Dead Girl Walking (Reprise): croquet mallet as a weapon ah yes
I Am Damaged: lmao bye
Seventeen (Reprise): let’s all get along now even though if this had happened in the beginning nO ONE WOULD’VE HAD TO FUCKING DIE
ruby-dear archive 