THE LIST OF THINGS NINTENDO PREDATES INCLUDES, BUT IS NOT LIMITED TO:
THE SHERLOCK HOLMES FRANCHISE
UNITED STATES PRESIDENT DWIGHT D. EISHENHOWER’S BIRTH
THE NOVEL “DRACULA”
THE NOVELS “THE TIME MACHINE” AND “WAR OF THE WORLDS” BY H.G. WELLS
THE FIRST MODERN OLYMPIC GAMES
THE DISCOVERY OF HELIUM ON EARTH
… Okay. I believe you. But like… how?
NINTENDO WAS FOUNDED IN 1889 AS A CARD GAME MANUFACTURER AND ALL THOSE OTHER THINGS HAPPENED IN 1890 OR LATER
WHAT THE FUCK I THOUGHT DRACULA WAS EARLIER WHAT THE FUCK
YOU COULD WRITE A DRACULA FANFIC WHERE DRACULA TRAVELS TO JAPAN AND BUYS A PACK OF NINTENDO BRAND PLAYING CARDS AND IT WOULD BE HISTORICALLY ACCURATE. SAME DEAL FOR SHERLOCK HOLMES.
No no no no no!
Don’t write fanfic!
Those things are in the public domain!
You can legally write, publish, and sell a Dracula book where Dracula travels to Japan and buys a pack of Nintendo brand playing cards!
Same deal for Sherlock Holmes!
what if you write a book where dracula and sherlock holmes travel to japan at the same time and reach for the last pack of nintendo brand playing cards that they both wanted
the best part of that story in context is that before they pull out their dicks, hemingway spends the better part of a chapter physically describing fitzgerald in great detail, claiming to be grossed out by him but obviously, obviously uncomfortably attracted
oh my god, it got better. I just went to find an excerpt and
Scott was a man then who looked like a boy with a face between handsome and pretty. He had very fair wavy hair, a high forehead, excited and friendly eyes and a delicate long-lipped Irish mouth that, on a girl, would have been the mouth of a beauty. His chin was well built and he had good ears and a handsome, almost beautiful, unmarked nose. This should not have added up to a pretty face, but that came from the coloring, the very fair hair and the mouth. The mouth worried you until you knew him and then it worried you more.
ernest hemingway calm down and control your thirst a little
“The mouth worried you until you knew him and then it worried you more“ is a hell of a line
you guys are leaving out one of the best parts! fitzgerald brought up this problem to hemingway while they were on a lunch date, right? well, because they were near the louvre, old earn hems was like, i know just what’ll help you feel better!
so after this lunch where hemingway spent a decent amount of time giving fitzgerald sex tips and reassuring him that he was a man of apt constitution, hemingway decided that the best way to put the man at ease was to show him the many dicks belonging to the naked men of classical sculptures, so that he could go home and give himself a reassuring comparison in the mirror later.
it was only after francis still wasn’t feeling hot that earnest went and took a proper look at him. the famed dick sighting happened in the louvre restroom. goodbye
When the real world reads like a scene that would have been edited out of a fan fiction for being “too unbelievable” and pure fandom wank.
My bros I have been doing a lot of
reading about Wacky WWII Hijinks lately and I want to tell you a
story because I love it okay
once upon a time there was a dude in
Spain named Juan Pujol Garcia. Pujol was a chicken farmer. Pujol
hated him some goddamn fascists.
See Spain had recently ended its civil
war, with the fascists taking power. So when WWII broke out in
Europe, Spain technically remained neutral but in practice was buddy
buddy with the Nazis. Juan Pujol Garcia thought this was pretty
bullshit
so soon after war breaks out Pujol
travels to his local British embassy and goes “hey I wanna spy on
the Nazis for you”
“who the fuck are you?” say the
British, and kick him out
but Pujol is not deterred! He still
wants to dunk on some fascists, so now he goes to his local German embassy instead. “hey” he
says, “I wanna spy on the British for you, I sure do hate them”
“yeah
okay” say the Germans “that seems pretty legit”
and
just like that Pujol now officially works for the Abwehr, the German
intelligence agency. They hand him some spy gear (invisible ink and
such) and instruct him to travel to Lisbon, and from there make his
way into the UK. So Pujol heads to Lisbon, and a little while later
writes to his German handlers telling them he’s made it to England
Pujol
had not made it to England. He had, in fact, made it to the Lisbon
public library, where he checked out a number of English guide books
and set about just wholesale making shit up
this
is slightly complicated by the fact that, for example, he completely
did not understand British currency and all his expense reports were
basically gibberish. He also reported things like bribing Scotsmen,
because the people of Glasgow would “do anything for a litre of
wine” (an actual quote) because, hey, people in Spain like wine so
that’s probably the same right?
Here
is where it starts to get really crazy, because the Abwehr loves
this. “wow this dude is a
great spy” they say, because apparently none of them had ever been
the England either. In fact, they are so pumped about this new
awesome spy that the British start to get worried
you
see, by this time the British had cracked German’s supposedly
unbreakable Enigma code and were totally dunking on the Nazis by
reading basically all of their ~super top secret~ radio
transmissions. And, crucially, they’d become so good at breaking and
reading traffic that there were literally no German spies in England.
The Germans would set up a spy drop (usually dropping dudes in by
parachute in the middle of the night), the British would intercept
the message and then just scoop the dudes up as soon as they landed
in a move that must have been SUPER embarrassing to the spies
so
there are no German spies in the UK because they’re all sitting in a
prison run by MI5 (although some are being run under supervision as
double agents, feeding Germany bullshit). But suddenly MI5 is picking
up all this traffic from the Germans talking about their super great
spy- a spy the British do not have in their jail
“oh
shit” says MI5, and starts rereading all the transmissions they
have to and from this mysterious super spy.
“hey
wait” says MI5, upon actually reading the shit the spy was sending.
“someone is playing silly buggers, pip pip cheerio”
At
this point, Pujol, still in Lisbon, had actually been approaching the
British embassy again, repeatedly, but apparently “I am literally
an Abwehr agent and would like to offer you my services” wasn’t
interesting enough, because he was repeatedly turned away, again. It wasn’t until MI5 started
asking around that one of the embassy staff was like “oh yeah we
know that guy”
so in
1942 the British finally make contact with Pujol and he officially
becomes a spy for MI5. They move him to London and assign him a case
officer so he can start making up even better bullshit
and he
does. Once actually in London, Pujol reports to the Abwehr that he’d
recruited a whole slew of informants- from a bunch of Welsh Aryans to
disaffected army officers. He ends up with a network of 20+
sub-spies, all feeding him information from around the UK
none of these people actually exist
Pujol
just straight up invented like 20 people, keeping careful track of
their fake personalities, names, and activities. With the help of
MI5, the information he sends becomes even better- a mix of true but
ultimately useless facts and actually important intel timed to arrive
in Germany just slightly too late to be of any use. He and his “spy
network” become the Abwehr’s most trusted agents
Pujol,
now codenamed Agent Garbo (for his acting skills), ends up playing a
huge role in the run-up to D-Day, where the Allies mounted a huge
intelligence campaign to convince Hitler that the planned site of
attack was going to be Calais and not Normandy (this was Operation
Fortitude and you should absolutely look it up for more Wacky WWII
Adventures). Obviously you know how this ended
crazily
enough, the Abwehr never figured out that Pujol was a double agent.
After the war he received both the Iron Cross Second Class (which
require personal authorization from Hitler), and a
Member of the Order of the British Empire (from King George VI)
unable
to resist being totally fucking ridiculous,
Pujol turned down MI5’s post-war offer to continue spying, but this
time against the USSR. “no,” he said “just help me fake my own
death and then I’m moving to Venezuela”
and
that’s exactly what he did. Juan Pujol Garcia died in 1988, at the
age of 76
i see your ‘nowhere in the nursery rhyme does it say humpty dumpty was an egg’ and raise you ‘nowhere in the legendarium does tolkien say that elves have pointed ears’
Mary Shelley didn’t give the monster bolts.
Arthur Conan Doyle never put Holmes in a deer stalker (also “elementary my dear Watson” is never said in the books, and he doesn’t smoke a curved pipe)
There are boys at Beauxbatons and girls at Durmstrang schools
Edgar Allan Poe wrote the earliest essay on the big bang theory
oh my god i am obsessed with lgbt history too! here’s a list of some i myself have seen and enjoyed – i bolded my absolute favourites, in case you wanted maybe a recommendation of where to start! 😀
the celluloid closet (1995) – incredible doc about lgbt representation in the media starting all the way from 1900 to 1995, including censorship and the bury your gays trope.
paris is burning (1990) – critically lauded classic must-watch doc about drag balls and q*eer culture and the lgbt people of color who created it.
A documentary of the successful career and assassination of San Francisco’s first elected gay councilor. there is also the excellent Milk(2008), which is a drama film version directed by q-cinema veteran Gus van Sant.
we were here (2011) – all about the arrival and impact of the AIDS epidemic and how the lgbt community dealt with it.
before stonewall (1984) – a doc in which they use interviews and clips to surmise what lgbt culture was like before the iconic stonewall inn and how stonewall came into fruitation.
the case against 8 – behind-the-scenes look at the case to overturn california’s ban against same-sex marriage.
for the bible tells me so (2007) – exploring the how religion gives people the excuse to be homophobic/biphobic/transphobic
How to Survive a Plague (2012) is probably the most powerful AIDS documentary i’ve seen and, while both are good, it trumps We Were Here by a fucking longshot. i consider the latter a ‘softer’ retelling of AIDS compared to the former. every young LGBT person should watch this documentary at least once, it’s so important.
all of these sound really nice and interesting, but do you have recommendations for movies about lgbt history outside of the US?
Chris & Don: A Love Story (2008) is about Christopher Isherwood (whose novels and stories about Wiemar Germany formed the basis for the musical and film Cabaret) and his long-term partner Don Bachardy.
Dancing In Dulais is about LGSM (Lesbians and Gays Support the Miners) and their work with a mining community in Wales. Here, here and here are some more segments and panels about the cause.
Freeheld (2007) is an Oscar winning documentary – about a terminally ill gay woman fighting for her partner’s right to her pension – that was later used as the basis for the film of the same name starring Ellen Page and Julianne Moore – from what I’ve heard, the documentary deserves a lot more merit than the film.
Tongues Untied (1989) is a documentary consisting of a series of stories about the intersections of Black and gay identity, and the bonus DVD includes interviews with an HIV/AIDS activist and a spoken word artist.
Paris Was a Woman (1996) is about LBPQ women living in Paris in the 1920′s, seeking freedom and liberation between the two world wars.
To Be Takei (2014) tells the story of George Takei’s (of Star Trek fame) life, family, activism and career.
“The Circle/Der Kreis” (2014) is also a swiss drama/documentary about Zürich being the biggest gay friendly city during the 50′s/60′s and the gay magazine “Der Kreis”, which got sent to all over the world. And also about swiss’ first gay couple to get married, they met through the magazine and narrate the whole thing.
everytime u see a old photo of a snazzy 1920s dude in a suit remember what lurks beneath
okay why are you guys reblogging this and tagging it as reference do you plan on drawing 20s gangsters in their underwear i better see these
I couldn’t help myself
To be fair, underwear that fully covers the body from neck to knees makes a lot of sense when you’re wearing a dry-clean-only suit as your everyday outfit; it prevents sweat from soiling the garment’s inner layer, and thus lets you go longer between launderings. The development of modern underwear tracks pretty much directly with the shift to washable daywear, which removes much of the need for such extensive protection.
The part that makes least sense is how it’s sleeveless and thus doesn’t protect suits from armpit sweat. Surely the armpit is one of the most important places to put this kind of undergarment? T-shirts were originally designed as an undergarment that does protect clothing from armpit sweat, but they weren’t popularized yet in the 20s.
Most union suits did indeed have full or partial sleeves; the ones pictured in the original post are more fashionable than functional, probably intended to be worn with eveningwear.
Wow this was informative
Eveningwear? So… this is 1920s men’s lingerie. GTK
Bring back prissy gangster lingerie 2k16
Not to mention, weren’t most suits back then made of wool? That shit itches.
I think one of the things about the gay community that sets us apart from many other marginalized communities is history.
With the exception of a few LGBT children raised by LGBT parents, we are not raised by our elders, and in fact, a, say, gay teacher taking an interest in a gay student, even of a different gender, even out of a desire to let that child know they’re not alone, may be seen as sinister.
As such, our history is something each generation must seek out on their own, usually as adults. Perhaps, if they’re lucky, they may know older LGBT people who can help, or may find elders online, in web videos, but if they’re not, they might not learn much at all about our past.
And that’s not even touching on how many of our elders died before they could become our elders.
ALICE ROOSEVELT WAS HARDCORE. “She was known as a rule-breaker in an era when women were under great pressure to conform. The American public noticed many of her exploits. She smoked cigarettes in public, swore at officials, rode in cars with men, stayed out late partying, kept a pet snake named Emily Spinach (Emily as in her spinster aunt and Spinach for its green color) in the White House, and was seen placing bets with a bookie.
So what I’m reading here is, she was a Roosevelt?
Well I have a new hero.
Her whole wikipedia article is gold
“When her father was governor of New York, he and his wife proposed that Alice attend a conservative school for girls in New York City. Pulling out all the stops, Alice wrote, ‘If you send me I will humiliate you. I will do something that will shame you. I tell you I will.’”
“Her father took office in 1901 following the assassination of President William McKinley, Jr. in Buffalo (an event that she greeted with “sheer rapture.”)“
“During the cruise to Japan, Alice jumped into the ship’s pool fully clothed, and coaxed a congressman to join her in the water. (Years later Bobby Kennedy would chide her about the incident, saying it was outrageous for the time, to which the by-then-octogenarian Alice replied that it would only have been outrageous had she removed her clothes.”
“She was dressed in a blue wedding dress and dramatically cut the wedding cake with a sword (borrowed from a military aide attending the reception)”
“When it came time for the Roosevelt family to move out of the White House, Alice buried a Voodoo doll of the new First Lady, Nellie Taft, in the front yard.”
“Later, the Taft White House banned her from her former residence—the first but not the last administration to do so. During Woodrow Wilson’s administration (from which she was banned in 1916 for a bawdy joke at Wilson’s expense)…”
“As an example of her attitudes on race, in 1965 her African-American chauffeur and one of her best friends, Turner, was driving Alice to an appointment. During the trip, he pulled out in front of a taxi, and the driver got out and demanded to know of him, “What do you think you’re doing, you black bastard?” Turner took the insult calmly, but Alice did not and told the taxi driver, “He’s taking me to my destination, you white son of a bitch!”
“To Senator Joseph McCarthy, who had jokingly remarked at a party “Here’s my blind date. I am going to call you Alice”, she sarcastically said “Senator McCarthy, you are not going to call me Alice. The trashman and the policeman on my block call me Alice, but you may not.”
I love this woman.
WOMEN WHO NEED FUCKEN MOVIES.
This is Alice as an older lady. The pillow says “If you can’t say something good about someone, sit right here by me.”
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN AND JOHN ADAMS ONCE HAD TO SHARE A BED IN A CROWDED INN, AND SPENT A CONSIDERABLE AMOUNT OF TIME ARGUING OVER WHETHER OR NOT THE WINDOW SHOULD REMAIN OPEN DURING THE NIGHT, AND WHETHER AN OPEN WINDOW WAS A HEALTHIER WAY TO SLEEP OR A SUREFIRE WAY TO GET SICK.
I wonder who was of which opinion
FRANKLIN WANTED THE WINDOW OPEN, ADAMS WANTED IT CLOSED.
I wonder who won.
FRANKLIN, BY TOTAL KNOCKOUT. HE KEPT EXPLAINING WHY FRESH AIR IS ACTUALLY GOOD FOR THE BODY UNTIL ADAMS GOT BORED AND FELL ASLEEP, ALLOWING FRANKLIN TO DO AS HE PLEASED RE: THE WINDOW.
ruby-dear archive 