Browsing the Maximum Ride Wiki is a trip because it just reminds me of the most bonkers shit from the series. Greatest hits include, but are not limited to:

[About Max] “It is unclear what color her hair is.”

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I never get to talk to people about the Max series very much but I just followed you and I love your blog can I rant to you for a second? I read The Angel Experiment when I was in the sixth grade and of course all the rest as they came out, I have the manga books, and the first four Marvel comics, and I’ve seen the movie. And quite frankly, I’m pissed. The manga is fine, I actually kind of like it. But the comics? She has red hair and Max HATES redheads! Don’t even get me started on the movie 😤

maximumridefandom:

Uhh such a large part of the books is about how she hates redheads and the MOVIE… we had such high hopes.

incorrect-maximum:

fang: could you please not max this into a worse situation than it already is?

max: hang on. did – did you just use my name as a verb ??

triumphdivision:

maximum ride characters as john mulaney quotes

max: I’ll keep all my emotions right here, and then one day, I’ll die.

fang: You know those days where you’re just like “this might as well happen. Adult life is already so goddamn weird.”

iggy: Nobody cared about my opinion when I was a little kid. Sometimes people would say “What do you think you’re doing?” But that just meant “Stop.”

nudge: I don’t need to trace it. I know how big letters should be. To begin with, a big ass H. followed by a big ass A and oh no. Oh god. Okay. Alright. Real skinny P with a high hump. and then we’ll put the second P below the hump of the first P. Sort of like a motorcycle sidecar situation. And now I have no room for the Y so I’ll do a kind of curled-up noodle Y. Block letters and cursive look good together!

gazzy: I have had a very long day. I am very small and I have no money. So you can imagine the kind of stress I am under.

angel: You will die on August 7, 2037.

ari: Sometimes babies will point at me, and I don’t care for that shit at all.

jeb: Thirteen year olds are the meanest people in the world. They terrify me to to this day.

mayasaura:

canon fang: Writes with perfect grammar and spelling, eloquent and thoughtful while paradoxically having the literary level of a 7th grader??

the REAL fang: PRIME shitposter, the most high quality memes, with occasional depressed poetry written in lowercase