On the Pottermore website,
J.K. Rowling explains how wizards poop.
There’s an excerpt about the Chamber
of Secrets that says wizards didn’t need
toilets because they ‘simply relieved
themselves where they stood,
and vanished the evidence.’ SourceSource 2
i fucking hate jk rowling so much because years and years after this franchise has ended she is still continuing trying to make it bad to the point where she said that every character in harry potter canonically shits themselves and then casts a shit vanishing spell
fuck this is b a d
This reminds me of the hufflepuff group masturbation tweets
The what?
Just imagine you’re taking a test for potions with Snape and the guy sitting next to you just fucking shits himself the nastiest, slimiest shit of his life out of stress. And you literally have to sit there with a straight face while fuckin Todd JingleJangles cleans himself up in the dead quiet room with some stupid ass line like “vanish me poopum” and you just gotta live with the knowledge that some kid just shit himself beside you during a fucking test.
how do you delete someone elses post
I am in tears
Joe what the fuck did you make me read
This gotta be fake
They literally have bathrooms in Hogwarts like theyre pretty important to the plot too did jk just forget about that? The bathroom where myrtle lives (she literally dives into a toilet)? The prefects bathroom? How can she claim there’s no bathrooms??? this post gave me mesothelioma and I feel entitled to compensation
i love that part in heathers where jd, after having ONE (1) prior conversation with veronica, decides to talk for 3 minutes straight about slushies, his depression and how fucking aroused he is by 7-11 and veronica “thirstiest bitch in all of musical theatre” sawyer is just like “wow. thats hot.”
today i found out that victor hugo has had more sex than possibly almost any other human that has lived on this planet.
he had so much sex his biographers straight up gave up trying to document all of his sexual partners. he was reported to fuck up to 3-9 times a day. He had a secret sex diary written in code. He had “official” and “unofficial” mistresses. One estimate was that he had ~200 sexual partners in two years.
Icon.
don’t forget that on the day of his funeral all the brothels in Paris were closed because every single prostitute in the whole goddamn city was busy mourning him
Hey quick question what the fuck
the man reported on his hookups in his diary using latin code words and 2 million people attended his funeral, if that isnt balling idk what is
victor hugo has been dead for 133 slutty, slutty years
i struggle with my own calligraphy skills and this is what people who are good at it do?
my goode dude, being “good” at smth like calligraphy is 90% grueling amounts of effort and practice, and that shit is tedious and hard. I can’t speak for any other calligraphers who are more skilled and focused than I am, but what’s the point of learning to draw beautifully if you can’t have fun doing it? If you can’t make people laugh at dumb misspellings, grin uncontrollably at their idiotic squad memes in fancy print and jokingly kinkshame historical figures every now and then?
This is true btw. I did a report about Ann Boney in school and Read actually liked her back so they ran away together and were considered the two most terrifying pirates across the seven seas
Lesbian Pirates
Give us this film
Just fyi – many of the illustrations and statues of them show them with their breasts exposed. This is not because they are sexualising lesbians but because these women often used to open their shirts and expose a breast when they killed a man just so the man’s dying thought would be the realisation that he was killed by a woman.
Gary: “‘Cause he never forgets a bitch, ever.”
Ritchie: “I don’t look like someone who used to do anything. I look like I was sitting in a room with a chair eating saltines for 28 years and then walked right out here.”
Drew: “I have a girlfriend now myself, which is weird because I’m probably gay based on the way I act and behave and have walked and talked for 28 years.”
Harley: “Anyone who has seen my dick and met my parents needs to die.”
Solidad: “Adult life is already so goddamn weird.”
Paul: “I’ll keep all my emotions right here, and then one day I’ll die.”
Barry: “For those of you who don’t know what it is, blackout drinking is when your brain goes to sleep but your body gets all ‘Eye of the Tiger’ and soldiers on.”
Kenny: “I’m one of the worst drivers I’ve ever seen. People expect to see a 100-year-old blind man who’s texting while driving. Instead they just see a 28-year-old healthy man trying his best.”
Zoey: “Then, for backstory, I will pepper in the fact that I am gay.”
Conway: “You spend most of your day telling a robot that you’re not a robot. Think about that for two minutes and tell me that you don’t want to walk into the ocean.”
Ursula: “Aww, I love how you just wear anything.”
Trip: “Get out of here with your facts. You’re like the kid at the sleepover who, after midnight, is like, ‘It’s tomorrow now.’ Get out of here with your technicalities. Just because you’re accurate doesn’t mean you’re interesting.”
Georgia: “Yeah, he was not a ‘spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down’ kind of guy. He was more like, ‘Brush your teeth. Now, boom, orange juice. That’s life.'”
Burgundy: “I’m like an iphone, it’s going to be worse versions of this every year.”
Stephan: “You know those days when you’re like, ‘This might as well happen’?”
Bianca: “You ever zone out for a few seconds? Well, I’ve been zoned out since 2014. All day long I just wander into traffic listening to a podcast while thinking about a different podcast.”
Alain: “When I’m walking down the street, I don’t think anybody goes, ‘Hey, look at that man.’ They’re just like, ‘Whoa, that tall child looks terrible!'”
Sawyer: “My vibe is more like, ‘Hey, you could pour soup in my lap, and I’ll probably apologize to you.”
Shauna: “Nothing that I know can help you with your car ever. Unless you’re like, ‘Hey, I’ve got a flat tire, does anyone here know a lot about the Cosby Show’?”
Gladion: “Like I bet you part of the reason goths are so miserable is they wake up every morning and think, ‘Oh god, I gotta put all that shit back on.'”
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