so oddly enough being single is almost exactly like what being in a relationship was like
(this probably has something to do with the fact that the relationship was very casual, but still, i expected more of a difference than this)

the other day

ex: *awkwardly avoiding mentioning the word ‘gay’ in relation to me*
bus driver: *unaware that we are not dating* are you saying you’re really feminine
me: …he’s saying i dumped his sorry ass last week
ex: *sincerely* yes, thank you

Wash your face, get some sleep and know i think your pretty neat

How did I see this coming from a mile away?

sometimes i forget, but my one true love will always be pokemon

ex: well we’re fucked
me, internally: you’re not

i’d like to deliver a personal ‘fuck you’ to every canadian who told me this election doesn’t matter

mom: good morning–
me, turning on the news: how do you feel about sweden?

holy shit i have so many problems

Me: I’m way too gay for this.
Ex: I’m straight but that offends me.
Me, internally: LISTEN HERE YOU FUCKING ASSHAT FUCKFACED DOUCHEWAFFLE, WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT—

i’m single holy shit