so i’ve installed this mod “skyrim is windy” which makes the foliage wiggle in the breeze more. but then i didn’t play the game because sometimes i just install a bunch of mods and move on to something else without trying them out. anyways. so then i went out to buy some food and i saw the wind playing with the tree branches and i legit thought “oh so the mod is working nicely” i made a few more steps before i realized…… yea scoob this is real life
ok this was me when i dropped a meat pie in the kitchen at 2am and for a solid 0.4 seconds i thought “it’s ok i’ll just load my quicksave”
Literally every tavern or inn in skyrim needs to be on kitchen nightmares
They’re all just huge health code violations and I can just hear Gordon Ramsey yelling “YOU CAN’T PUT FUCKING RAW LEGS OF GOATS IN THE SAME SACK AS TOMATOES AND ROASTED PHEASANT YOU FUCKING IDIOT NORD SHIT”
First of all, they’re cured meats
“RAW LEG OF GOAT is cured?? Thats fucking News to me!” -Gordon Ramsey again
dragon age player characters should be allowed to swim
like if mr. skyrim can swim while wearing full armor made out of rocks or whatever, my inquisitor dressed in light armor should be allowed to swim too instead of dying instantly if water level comes above his knees
Mr. Skyrim,,,,,,
yeah, him. mr. skyrim, the guy who screams at dragons and eats bees.
”Talos the Mighty! Talos the unerring! Talos the unassailable! To you we give Praise! We are but maggots writhing in the filth of our own corruption! While you have ascended from the dung of mortality, and now walk among the stars! But you were once man! Aye! And as man you said, “Let me show you the power of Talos Stormcrown, born of the North, where my breath is long winter. I breathe now in royalty and reshape this land which is mine. I do this for you, Red Legions, for I love you.” Aye, love! Love! Even as man, great Talos cherished us. For he saw in us, in each of us, the future of Skyrim! The future of Tamriel! And there it is, friends! The ugly truth! We are the children of man! Talos is the true god of man! Ascended from flesh, to rule the realm of spirit! The very idea is inconceivable to our Elven overlords! Sharing the heavens with us? With man? Ha! They can barely tolerate our presence on earth! Today, they take away your faith. But what of tomorrow? What then? Do the elves take your homes? Your businesses? Your children? Your very lives? And what does the Empire do? Nothing! Nay, worse than nothing! The Imperial machine enforces the will of the Thalmor! Against its own people! So rise up! Rise up, children of the Empire! Rise up, Stormcloaks! Embrace the word of mighty Talos, he who is both man and Divine! For we are the children of man! And we shall inherit the heavens and earth! And we, not the Elves or their toadies, will rule Skyrim! Forever!”
URRGH I HATE MY FAMILY I SPENT FUCKING HOURS ARRANGING THESE CUPS AND THEY JUST KNOCK THEM OFF LIKE “HI DEAR NICE TO SEE YOU, THANKS FOR FIGHTING EVIL WHOOPS WHERE THOSE YOUR CAREFULLY STACKED CUPS?? LET ME JUST HURL THIS GOAT LEG FROM THE TABLE AND KNOCK ‘EM ALL DOWN” AND THEY TRAP ME IN MY ROOM BY SITTING IN FRONT OF THE DOOR AND THEY CALLED MY DOG STUPID ONE TOO MANY TIMES
I am taking them onto the roof and SHOUTING them into the lake
I feel I should make it clear this post is about skyrim
ruby-dear archive 