happylilprompts:

• “You look like someone’s dad.”
• “Two?! That’s more than one!” (”Didn’t know you were so good at math.”)
• “What a nuincience.”
• “Can’t you see your fighting is tearing this family apart!”
• “I was wrong…. about everything.
• “If idiots could fly, this would be an airport.”
• “What will it take for the people I care about to take care of themselves!”
• “Where are your eyes?!”
• “I’ve been privileged my entire life, how do you expect me to be able to do that?!”
• “They’re talking to a worm…”
• “See, I’m not most people, so I can’t do that.”
• “That’s not gonna look good on my resume.”
• “I’m like, three out of five, so pretty deadish.”
• “I need to wash my face.”
• “You are horrible cops!”
• “I’m just gonna sit here.”
• “I find that being a coward keeps me more alive, so no thanks.”
• “Somehow, you managed to be the even more idiotic version of me.”
• “This is the best conversation I’ve ever had.”
• “Are we monks or are we mice?!”
• “You came all this way to give it back to me?”
• “Do you still have both of your kidneys?”
• “You have… personalized pajamas… made for especially you?”
• “You’re my friend now.”
• “Wait, uninvite me so I can crash it!”
• “This is worrying.”
• “Take control of your life!”
• “Face my wrath, you insect!”
• “I’ve got ants in my pants.”
• “This is the sad part where my parents die so I can have a dramatic backstory.”
• “It must be tragic to be so laughtose intolerant.”