lizardvvizard:

chazkuangshi:

ephemeral-lightning:

chazkuangshi:

“I’ve NEVER. Eaten a DONUT. In my ENTIRE LIFE. And I’m NOT. About to start NOW.”

-Crazy customer I had today, upon being offered a complimentary donut

Why is this a real thing that happened in the real world what’s the meaning of this

I’m just gonna copy paste the story here from discord because honestly the whole story is worth hearing

so lady comes through drive thru.
“Hi what can I get for you?”
“A sesame bagel with extra cream cheese.”
“A sesame bagel with extra cream cheese, sure no problem, can I get you anything else today?”
“No”
“Alright, you can pull up”
and I just hear this quiet disgrunted “ ‘Please’ ?”

I’m like uhhhhh, was that even directed at me, I don’t know, I don’t know how to respond to that so I just ignore it like I didn’t hear it. I go up to the window and see this woman, which she honestly looked like a tomato with messy gray hair. Before I have the window halfway open I see her roll her eyes at me so I’m like oh boy here we go, time to put on the stupid sweet customer voice

“Hi how are you today?”

She hands me the money for her bagel and goes “Just a tip. It’s ‘Please pull up to the window.’ not ‘pull up.’ I found that incredibly rude.”

I go “I’m sorry about that, I didn’t intend for that to be rude, I just meant that it was okay to pull up to the window now.”
“I know what you meant. But it was rude.”
“Well, I apologize. Here’s your bagel, have a great day.”
She goes “I’m a MYSTERY SHOPPER.” (If you don’t have Mystery shoppers where you are, it’s kind of like undercover boss where the store owner hires someone through the Mystery shopper program and they place a regular order just to make sure people are following policy)
I’m like “… ok”

So I’m about to tell my boss and coworker what just happened when she comes in. And I jump to the front counter because no way I’m letting her talk to my boss before I do.

“Hi, can I help you?”
“Yes. This bagel was supposed to be NOT toasted. You toasted it.”
“Ohh, I’m so sorry about that! I didn’t hear that. I’ll make you a new one right now.”
Coworker beats me to the bagel and I say “A little extra cream cheese on that.”
She looks at my boss “She just said a LITTLE cream cheese. I wanted EXTRA cream cheese.”
Boss goes “Oh, she said a little extra cream cheese.”
“Oh”

Boss goes into kiss ass mode as well and says, “I’m sorry about the mistake, would you like a donut?”
Lady goes “I’ve never. Eaten a donut. In my ENTIRE LIFE. and I’m NOT. About to start NOW.”
Boss is like “… ok” and we’re all internally going sdhakgsdgkja?

So we get the bagel out and she says to my boss
“And I have one more thing to say.” She leans in with a sneer. “Mystery shopper.”
boss goes “We don’t do that here.”
“yea you do.”
“No we don’t.”
“yea you do.”
“Have a good day.”

Basically we’re pretty sure the lady was crazy and she was absolutely lying because Mystery shoppers are not allowed to tell you that they’re mystery shoppers, and they aren’t allowed to coach you. And even if she was, “please” is not one of the things they look for. They look for a Greeting, whether or not you repeated the order and the price back, and whether or not you upsold. We haven’t participated in the program in over 7 years.

weepycat:

things that 15 year old me did sophomore year that my southern-bred god-fearing conservative christian teachers Did Not Like

• teacher refused to let me sit backwards in chairs. i made a point to sit backwards in chairs until she told me to stop, and then id manspread as much as possible. (semester one.)
• teacher got onto my friend and gave her a panic attack over her newly dyed hair. i told her my friend putting red streaks in her hair was no different than her removing the grey streaks from her hair. got sent outside. (semester one)
• teacher told me my bra strap was showing. took my bra off in class and put it in bag. was sent to principal’s office. mother was called, although she only muffled her laughter over the telephone. (semester two)
• [to homophobic teacher who disliked my mothers] “what language is gaelic from? gayland?” “that’s where my moms are from, ma’am.”
• teacher claimed i was lying about moving to uruguay and tried to force me into sitting in a personal meeting about my future classes and goals. told her to “sign me the fuck up for underwater basket weaving” and got sent outside. (semester two)
• was told by teacher that “ladies should not say they have to pee. try ‘can i use the restroom’ instead” replied with “alright. i gotta piss like a racehorse. can i use the restroom?“ (got sent outside. again. semester two)
• was told to “smile, you’ll look nicer” by a 6′0″ male coach i did not know. when he blocked my entrance out of the classroom until i smiled for him, i said “shove it straight up your ass,” before elbowing him in the ribcage, ducking under his arm, and running for it. skipped class in that building for a week. (semester two)
• hopped a fence to catch my bus and flipped off an ancient male history teacher when he shouted at me to come back. he threatened to find me again. he never found me. 

animugamu:

when i was a kid, i remembered playing with this little girl. she often carried a teddy bear whom she called “mr snuggles” and even though it was just a stuffed toy, i was so convinced that he was alive. when we play imagine, everything felt like magic. we would play with each other at school and since she’s really shy, we just stuck together (and when someone tries to speak to her, they would have to talk to me first). she was the princess and she always refer to me as “the knight” like fakn seriously and i was like “i protec her because she’s pretty, and she shy, and soft and pure. she’s my best friend.” and now that i think about it (13 years later) wOW I WAS SO GAY

so that’s the proof that being gay (or bi) (or any sexuality and gender) (i’m bi now) is not forced because wOW CHILDHOOD FRIENDS TO LOVERS TROPE??? IMAGINE YOUR OTP

True story, bro.

thefrogsapothecary:

monstergirlsexamination:

culturenlifestyle:

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This is one of the best stories we read in a long time. An arborist AKA a tree caretaker and tree surgeon from Redondo Beach, California had to watch the death of one of his favorite trees, which was ordered by the mayor. Although he lost a great battle, he won the war. Find out how he avenged the death of his 30-year-old pepper tree named Clyde.

His story was recently shared online and has already been shared over 150k times. RIP Clyde.

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Credits: GoblinsStoleMyHouse

This is druidic as fuck

Witches be like

sagihairius:

transbeequeen:

sagihairius:

can’t stop thinking about the cursed freaky friday dvd we got

Elaborate

so when freaky friday came out my family was OBSESSED like we rented it to the point where we decided to buy it but we couldn’t find a copy anywhere until we got one at a gas station on the edge of town. immediately we brought it home and turned it on. we couldn’t figure out how to turn the subtitles off but we loved it so much so we didn’t care. until a few minutes in. gradually the subtitles stopped matching the actual dialogue and at first it was like casual conversation that we didn’t think anything of then it started saying like “get in the car” and “they’ll never find you” and all this weird shit. we kept reading out of curiousity but then the sound cut out and it made a hissing noise. there was a deep voice that said “where’s bob” which is my dad who wasn’t home at the time so my mom hopped up and threw that fucker out

this didn’t stop our love so we bought another at walmart and didn’t have a problem

glumshoe:

goosegooseduck:

glumshoe:

glumshoe:

My grandmother is a bitter old crab with nothing good to say about anything, but she does have a few good stories. She confronted the woman my grandfather had been cheating on her with – this other woman had no idea he was married, and was righteously angry.

The two of them schemed together. My grandfather’s mistress drove her convertible to the construction site where he was working. As he approached the car, she said, “Why didn’t you tell me you were married?”

“Married?! I’m not married!” he said.

My grandmother sat up in the back seat, where she’d been lying down, and said, “You won’t be for much longer.”

After they divorced, my grandfather begged my grandmother to come back to him. “I’ll marry you again if you buy me a house full of furniture,” she said.
“Deal,” said my grandfather.

So they got married again, he bought her the house full of furniture….. and then she divorced him.

Again.

Didn’t say she would keep being married to him.

There is a very real chance that my grandmother was some manner of mischievously literal-minded fay.