also people really seem to think that specifically children with adhd will suddenly become not distractable if you remove distractors like phones which is very much not the case lol they just zone out you idiots.
my parents did this with homework and i would sit there zoned out till 10 pm not doing shit because they turned the internet off
Neurotypical people tend to not understand that my ability to focus on something I’m not particularly motivated to do will increase tenfold if I can have a secondary task or background distraction with which to pair it. So, for example, if I’m in a boring meeting or have to listen to a webinar or something, my ability to stay tuned in to what’s being said will actually improve greatly if I’m simultaneously allowed to play a game or colour. Likewise, if I have a boring work project that involves inputting data into spreadsheets or something of that nature, I absolutely need to be able to listen to a podcast whilst I work. People think these sorts of things are signs of not being invested, but for me, it’s the difference between engagement and zoning out.
I always have to be doing something while I’m watching TV. Like making doll jewellery or redressing, or surfing on my laptop. Keeping my hands busy helps me focus, tho it does mean sometimes it’s difficult to watch stuff together with friends because I had internalised the behaviour and didn’t realise until it was pointed out to me that it distresses others.
I had a friend who couldn’t stand it when I multi-tasked while I was “supposed” to be watching a TV show. : /
Tag: THANK YOU
Growing up my parents taught me that if you’re too sick to [insert responsibility here] then you’re too sick to [insert something that makes you happy here].
It took me a really long time to unlearn this. When I would get sick or have a “bad day” I would deprive myself of anything that made me happy. Watching movies, eating something I enjoyed, going for a walk, playing video games or just browsing online looking at funny cat videos. I wouldn’t let myself do these things because I was always told that if I’m too sick to go to work, or do homework, or go to school then I must be too sick to play Mortal Kombat or watch Unsolved Mysteries lol.
Whenever I wouldn’t feel good, which I later learned as an adult was due to sleep deprivation caused by my ADHD and depression (and of course the depression itself would cause me to feel like shit), my parents would tell me “if you’re not throwing up, then you’re not sick.” And when I would stay home from school (or even work in my later teen years) my parents would make sure that I didn’t have any “fun.” No TV, no movies, no games, no going outside, no arts and crafts, no books, no nothing. Just lay in bed and feel miserable.
I’m happy to say that I no longer do this to myself. Now when I’m having a bad day or I’m sick (cold, flu or whatever) I allow myself to do the things (within reason lol) that I actually love doing. If I’m not too sick to step outside for a few minutes then I’ll go for a walk. I’ll watch my favorite movies and if it’s a bad day or a cold (something that doesn’t hinder my appetite too much) I’ll eat my favorite foods. I don’t guilt trip myself anymore for having a “sick day.”
Just because you’re sick (whether physically, emotionally or mentally) doesn’t mean that you can’t do things you enjoy. You’re not any less sick because you watch TV. You’re not any less sick because you’re playing video games.
Actually you SHOULD be doing these things when you’re not feeling good because they make you feel better. The better you feel, the faster your heal.
no offense but straight girls are fucking exhausting and i dont mean that in the “i keep getting crushes on them” way i mean it in the they keep fetishizing/romanticizing m/m relationships while finding every flaw imaginable in f/f relationships to call them toxic and manipulative while hiding behind their m/m ships to pretend they’re not homophobic and i’m so fucking tired i’m so so tired that men can get away with literal murder but if a woman makes one mistake she’s suddenly satan herself and i’m just so so so tired
My wish for every writer in 2018 is that you all finish every WIP you got lingering around.
May your words flow freely, may your characters come alive and may everyone love your finished story when they read it.
“Don’t fight hate with hate” is an example of subtle gaslighting, where our legitimate hurt & anger at the injustices we suffer is being equated to the bigotry & abuse of our oppressors.
Being angry doesn’t mean you are being hateful, it means you love yourself enough to get upset at your own mistreatment.
You don’t have to be recovering or “working on” your disability and/or neurodivergence for it to be accepted and respected. Disabled/neurodivergent people don’t have to ever “recover”, “better themselves”, or anything of that nature especially since for a lot of people it isn’t possible or even an option. Disabled/nd people are 100% okay how they are and if they want to work on things that’s completely up to them and them alone.
ruby-dear archive 