Tag: vampires

thatsnicebutimmarried:

sprinklesparkletwittertwatter:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

vampires who go to college for a history degree b/c they weren’t paying attention and want to know what they missed over the last 5 centuries

Yes, but what about the vampires that were newly turned and want to study history so that they can talk with older vampires and not feel left out. Or the ones that want to pretend that they are super old to freak people out then when someone asks how long they’ve been a vampire that can be like “Like 5 years dude”

“How old are you?”
“17.”
“How long have you been 17?”
“Like four months.”

glitter6ug:

thecalerianking:

thecalerianking:

so im trying to decipher this chart on wikipedia that has common vampire weaknesses in it and

image

a ‘green/yes’ is a weakness, a ‘red/no’ is something that isnt a weakness, and a ‘?’ is something that has never been addressed but fucking riddle me this

image

in what lore are vampires weak to getting soggy in milk

i scrolled over to check to see what this could possibly be and

image

places a hand on me cheek

happy halloween month time for my favourite post of all time

aversion-to-apples:

cobaltdays:

what y’all thinking about fellas

So garlic is a natural anticoagulant, but then why would vampires be allergic to it?

Hear me out:

What if vampires made up all the stuff about them being allergic to garlic so that their victims would eat it, thinking it would ward off vamps, but instead it makes their blood easier to drink!

Because it doesn’t clot!

This has really been getting to me recently. Have I uncovered their master conspiracy or am I going insane?

syncretic11:

dvas0ng:

defilerwyrm:

hasufin:

seananmcguire:

knitmeapony:

seananmcguire:

priscellie:

Man. I feel so thirsty lately.  I can’t drink enough water. I feel like the senator guy in that X-Men movie after getting exposed to Magneto’s mutant machine, and he keeps drinking drinking drinking water uncontrollably until he dives into the ocean and becomes a terrifying jellyfish creature and explodes.  Freaking Magneto. I was already sympathetic to the mutant cause. Why you gotta hate?

You’re not a mutant, honey, you’re a mermaid.  It’s all right.  Once your scales start coming in, you won’t be as thirsty.

You know, being a diagnostician in a world with more public magical creatures must be a trip and a half.  

  • “Extreme thirst has a lot of causes.  Let’s check your blood sugar, and let’s take a skin sample to see if you’re developing scales.”
  • “Joint pain is pretty common when someone’s pushing themself that way with training, and I’d definitely recommend some rest, but it sounds like it’s been coming on with the moon so we might want to do a blood test to check for lycanthropy.”
  • “I’m going to give you this journal.  Keep track of how often you’re near bodies of water and copses of trees – not single trees, there needs to be a cluster.”
  • “Bear with me, I know you’re lactose intolerant, but buy a pint of milk and keep it in your kitchen.  If it spoils faster than expected, we’ll have a better idea of what’s going on here.”

“Have you considered that you may not, in fact, actually be a mammal?”

“Okay, I’m going to have to refer you to a specialist. It looks like your tertiary dentition is coming in.”

“I think we need to check for allergic reactions to silver, iron, a few types of wood, garlic, and holy water. That’ll help us rule out some possible causes for this rash. In the mean time I think you should avoid Italian food and holy ground.”

“Have you noticed clusters of birds following you? Were they corvids? Hm, interesting. You ought to come in to the office so we can discuss this further.”

“That itching sensation might be a rash, but I think we ought to give you an MRI and see if you’re about to grow horns.”

So basically, medicine in the Dark Ages, upgraded.

This is literally my dream as a writer and my worst nightmare as a nurse

So I imagine a supernatural version of House where almost every episode someone is like “it’s lycanthropy” and the House character goes “it’s never lycanthropy” except for the one episode it is where the title of the episode is lycanthropy.