roleplaymemes-ahoy:

Part 1: New In Town

30 to choose from, come may contain foul language. 

1. “I was hoping that by now I’d look older, but it didn’t happen.”
2. “Whoa, that tall child looks terrible.” 
3. “I always thought that quick sand was going to be a much bigger problem than it turned out to be.”
4. “I think I’m becoming more like my mom.”
5. “People always sush animals.” 
6. “Thirteen-year-olds are the meanest people in the world.”
7. “No! That’s I;m sensitive about!” 
8. “I once was on the telephone with Blockbuster Video…” 
9. “When people get mad at me it’s my fault.” 
10. “It’s wrong to make fun of people, but it’s so fun sometimes.” 
11. “I don’t like robots thinking of things.” 
12. “It’s easier to do nothing than it is to do something.” 
13. “That guy’s a bozo.” 
14. “I’m trying to in general take better care of myself.” 
15. “You ordered your food an hour ago, it should be here by now.” 
16. “NNOOoo!” 
17. “Life is a fucking nightmare.” 
18. “Whats that? Over there! Don’t do that!”
19. “I’m really sorry about last night, it’s just that I’m mean and loud.” 
20. “Here’s a story I once heard about me [Insert story here]” 
21. “Alright, let’s go over there and destroy the place.”
22. “We were like dogs without horses, we were running wild.” 
23. “FUCK DA POLICE!” 
24. “I’ve never climbed a fence that high before.”
25. “No” (You know like a liar) 
26. “Did I do that?” 
27. “Why? Why do you do this?” 
28. “I am often wrong.” 
29. “Could you help me out? I am very gay, I would like a few dollars.” 
30. “No, it’s okay I was lying.” 

happylilprompts:

• “Hey guys, I’m here and I’m ready to bitch.”
• “The five stages of grief; denial, anger, bargaining, Seinfeld reruns and acceptance.”
• “When Michael sang ‘Smooth Criminal’, he was actually singing about me.”
• “Stupid beats boring.”
• “You lay a finger on Dr. Dino and I’ll end you.”
• “That’s it, I’m ready to go solo.”
• “Alright, I’m leaving without you.”
• “I shouldn’t have eaten that.” “Why?” “I’m allergic.” “WHAT!?”
• “That kid has like, 1000 times more class than me.”
• *shouting* “I swear I won’t tell anyone her about the time I saw you *embarrassing thing*”
• “I can’t tell you how many times I’ve almost killed someone. 12.”
• “Here’s a hint: I’m not telling you.”
• “Look, I care about you.” “Really?!”
• “You have beautiful eyes.” “Complimenting me won’t distract me from the fire, A.”
• “Alright, I’m gonna go cry.”
• “Kicking it doesn’t help!”
• “You killed Dr. Jones!” “For the last time your Indiana Jones figurine was not alive to begin with! I bought you a new one!” “It wasn’t the same!”
• “That’s not what they say!”
• “Are you still looking at the moon!?”
• “You poor children.“
• “Don’t be fooled, I’m the epitome of a mess.“
• “Success is more important than human contact and love and hugs and…“ “…is that why you’re crying?”
• “If you don’t stop procrastinating I’m going to kick your ass into action.“
• “We get it!“
• “Hey, I just wanted to check if you’re okay, you’ve been listening to SexyBack on repeat for an hour.“

happylilprompts:

“It’s a beautiful day to question everything.”


“… and I’m not even going to try.”


“Is this what I’ve become?”


“Afternoon, zombies.”


“I have a question… why?”


“From whom is the spewing volcano?”


“Honey, I’m homeless!”


“Fight me. Wait no, I didn’t think you’d actually take up on that!”


“You said, and I quote; I have an addiction to knowledge.”!“


"A hero of my dreams is someone who makes me lasagna.”

“You and your stupid idea!”


“Trust me when I say I’ve been here before.”


“Under all that lameness there’s a tiny dot of cool in you. Very tiny. Microscopic, really.”

“It’s 5:30 and I’m eating lunch.”

“Why am I here?”

“Oh, this is going to be so embarrassing, I can’t wait.”

“Expiration dates are more like guidelines, right?”

“I’m calling it, he’s going to die.”

“I like my to have my coffee like I like to have you; always by my side.“

“DO. NOT. BURN. THE. MONEY.“

“Shake what you got. Wait, I mean the- no don’t stop!“

“This is sad.“ “This is your life?” “I’m aware, cupcake.”

“How do you find my moves?”

the-self-proclaimed-prince:

• “Just read this fucker and take it to court.”
  
• “Tone down your depositions, A-hole.” 
  
• “He may be a buffoon and a fool, but by God he was innocent.”
  
• *grumble grumble* “Sexist bastards.” 
  
• “I don’t want to come into work without teeth!”
  
• “That asshole better stop fucking with my client or else I’m gonna…”
  
• “There are only two pears left. I’m naming them Adam and Eve.”
  
• “Organic seaweed? What the hell is organic seaweed?”
  
• “You asking me fishing?… fuck YES I’m there!”
  
• “When the weather gets hot, I just step out on my back porch and pour water over my head for an hour or two. Works every time.”
  
• “He is an artist. Use of Comic Sans in legal documents is his creative outlet.”
  
• “Throw some Wingdings on that shit.”
  
• “What does a person have to do to get a fucking cob salad around here?” 
  
• “I’m trying to decide if I should go insane and body-pump or go home and sleep.”
  
• “You can’t just ring a bell, un-ring it, and then ring it again.”
  
• “We lost. We lost big time. But it’s okay. I’m good. It’s cool. I’ve got whiskey. I’m good.”
  
• *applying lipstick to go to the gym* “What kind of a crazy woman wears lipstick to the gym??”
  
• “Are you going to shut up and FISH today?” 
  
• “Do you know of any pet friendly cafes? I’m meeting an attorney tomorrow and he’ll have his non-service hunting dog along. Don’t ask why.”
  
• “Publicly, I agree. Personally, I think it’s chickenshit.”
  
• “Keto diet? Is that like for chemo? Ohmygod do you have cancer?!??”
  
• “I don’t have a circle on mine. Where’s my circle?”
  
• “Don’t judge my printouts. Paper is a renewable resource.”
  
• “The stapler has been compromised.” 
  
• “You know that one case? The one with the person from the company whose doing some crazy stuff?”
  
• “I wasn’t fishing. I was lawyer-ing. Much less exciting.”
  
• “For a priest, he’s kind of an asshole.”
  
• “Brownies and bourbon? Sounds like my kinda party!”
  
• “I got a bottle of whiskey calling my name so I may not be back here tomorrow morning or ever.”

toxixpumpkin:

• “Who wouldn’t be angry you ate all of my cereal and faked your death for three years!”
• “I’m going to need you to put on some underwear before you say anything else.“ 
• "Quick catch that cat it stole my wallet!”
• “Fuck I feel like I got hit by a car… Wait I did? And it was your car?”
• “The skirt is short on purpose.”
• “I can’t believe I’m sitting in space jail with you of all people.”
• “So why did I have to punch that guy?”
• “I may have accidentally sort of adopted five cats.”
• “I hope you know that my name is actually ________.”
• “Please stop petting the test subjects. ”
• “That is the tenth demon summoning this week holy shit.”
• “Please put me down it’s just a sprained ankle" 
• "So what if I broke my arm I’m still doing it.”
• “Why exactly do you need chloroform at 2AM?”
• “I’m like 75% this won’t explode on us.”
• “You need to stop leaving dead bodies in my kitchen.”
• “I understand the whole sleep talking thing but what I don’t understand is the princess dragon dream and why I’m in it.”
• “I’m sorry that I got way too into playing house and accidentally kissed you passionately.”

the-moon-dust-writings:

Writing AU’s

1. A tavern fight breaks out so your character(s) steal all the breadsticks and leave.
2. Vampires have taken over the city, but to much of everyones surprise they actually made it better.
3. Rain begins to beat against the cabin as the fire crackles in the background. Everyone looks at each other and realizes, where is the dog?
4. In a crowded supermarket your character(s) cannot help but feel like there is something a little off. They turn around and see a unicorn, but the suspicious thing is the price the market is asking for those bananas.
5. In the depths of the sea hides mer-people and they only come out every full moon. This full moon has a special meaning to them and this happens to be the first time in hundreds of years that mer-people and humans run into each other.
6. A werewolf stumbles upon a rave. The people at the rave do not question that there is a werewolf as they have been there too long and would believe anything at this point. The werewolf is confused as to why the humans aren’t afraid of them. However, they get the chance to show off their sick dance moves so they stay a while.
7. Zombies have taken over the planet, but much to your relief, there are no more bills to pay. Naturally you are a lot happier and things keep getting better when you find a dog because you couldn’t have a pet where you were renting.
8. In an empty wasteland amongst the sand and ravenous hills, there is a building. A building covered in greenery from top to bottom. Music can be heard along with voices. Your character(s) decide to investigate.

mechayourown:

1. “I don’t hate you.”
2. “Maybe there’s more to me than what meets the eye.”
3. “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”
4. “It wasn’t supposed to be this way.”
5. “Anything for science.”
6. “Some say I have mixed morals… when, in reality, I just follow logic.”
7. “Why are you stealing my clothes?”
8. “It’s nothing personal.”
9. “The blood’s just from a nosebleed; don’t worry about it.”
10. “Give me the computer, I need to look up cute penguins.”
11. “I hope you die in a hole filled with spiders.”
12. “Don’t touch my food.”
13. “You’ve got that whole drunken-sway thing going on.”
14. “You think this shit is simple?”
15. “Tell me what you want me to say.”
16. “There was a time I thought I loved you.”
17. “No matter how bad things get, I’ll always be here for you.”
18. “I’m just as fucked up as you are.”
19. “This is bad, right?”
20. “You may think your secrets are well kept, but I know everything.
21. “Why isn’t anyone listening to me?”
22. “This is damaging my self-esteem, I hope you know.”
23. “I am here to grace you with my presence.”
24. “You’ve gone too far when the other one can’t walk away.”
25. “I honestly don’t think you’re like me at all.”
26. “Sometimes I feel like I’m tearing myself apart and I can’t stop.”
27. “I never knew you could bend like that.”
28. “You’re like a giant cinnamon role.”
29. “I don’t want to ruin you.”
30. “Aww, who knew you were such a cute kid. I always assumed you would’ve resembled a donkey.”
31. “I just want a hug.”
32. “You should be very, very scared of me.”
33. “It’s funny; I used to think anything was possible when I was a kid.”
34. “My entire universe is/used to be you.”
35. “I’m sick of feeling so useless all the time.”
36. “You won’t scare me away.”
37. “I don’t believe in love at first sight, but I believe in hate at first sight.”
38. “Get your hands off of my stuff.”
39. “When I was told I was going on a blind date, I never thought it’d be you.”
40. “I don’t even know who you are anymore.”
41. “We need to talk.”
42. “I don’t understand why you feel like you have to keep stuff from me.”
43. “I never knew you were a cat person.”
44. “Did you seriously get a tattoo?”
45. “How’d you get so good at first aid?”
46. “You’ve never seen Lion King?”
47. “Are your nails painted?”
48. “I really don’t care what you think.”
49. “Because that’s not weird at all.”
50. “I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship.”