Susan Crushbone, goddess

batneko:

Here’s a basic layout of how to use Susan Crushbone as a deity in D&D.

• Domains: trickery, love
• Alignment: chaotic neutral
• Favored Weapon: keyblade, but short swords (preferably duel-wielded) if your DM won’t incorporate keyblades
• Symbol: seven emeralds surrounding a flame

Now for flavor:

• Susan Crushbone’s temples are places of respite and worship but also party central. Any travelers are welcome to crash there so long as they either: donate money to keep the temple’s heating and cooking fires going (gas), contribute to the collection of recreational substances (grass), or take part in ceremonial orgies (ass). The only rule is “no bummers.”
• Outside of temples she can be worshipped at home by dancing for her, the style of dance is unimportant, Susan appreciates all forms.
• Susan Crushbone’s favored clerics and paladins find themselves blessed with things like gorgeous flowing hair, or fire and ice powers, or the ability to tame wild animals, or grow plants easily, or dissolve fabrics with their voice.
• The truly blessed are taken by Susan as lovers. She does this quite often but it gives no benefits aside from amazing sex.
• Though it is traditional for Susan Crushbone’s followers to expose a lot of their skin, they don’t just wander around naked. That would be forcing others who haven’t consented to take part in their exhibitionism. Their goddess offers a message of sex positivity and that includes respecting boundaries.
• Susan Crushbone was originally an orc princess, crafted from before birth by the gods to save the world from a great evil. She did, and spent the rest of her life as a benevolent hedonist until eventually dying of partying too hard. She was so popular with the people that she ascended to true godhood.