I love the difficulty curve of farming games, like:
Spring, Year 1: 300g is the most you’ll ever see in your shipping bin Summer, Year 1:You can now buy seeds without accidentally going bankrupt Fall, Year 1:You made some friends and you’re starting to get the hang of things Winter, Year 1: There isn’t much to do in terms of farming so I guess I’ll explore
Spring, Year 2: MONEY IS NO LONGER AN OBSTACLE, YOU CAN BUY THINGS WITHOUT EVER LOOKING INTO YOUR WALLET
The witch in the gingerbread house doesn’t eat children, she doesn’t even harm them. She protects them. She takes abused and abandoned children under her wing, teaches them her craft and releases them into the world as strong young witches and wizards with a kiss on the forehead and an invitation to return whenever they like for comfort, support, or even just a slice of cake. No, the witch in the gingerbread house doesn’t eat children. She eats their parents.
I agree john mulaney is probably an immortal akin to beings such as keanu reeves and jeff goldblum but he’s like a new born baby immortal who is looking at the long long expanse of a lifetime he has in front of him and is already tired
jeff golblum is thousands of years old and loving it. john mulaney was born in 1901 and ever since 1924 it’s gone downhill for him
So to be clear, the immortal timeline seems to be:
John Mulaney – early 20th century
Eric Andre – Probably 17th century or so.
Taika Waititi – Elizabethan age, probably hung out with Shakespeare
Keanu Reeves – We think sometime around Alexander the Great, but he seems to have just sprung up fully formed.
Jeff Goldblum – 100% Biblical times, may or may not be King Solomon.
Tommy Wiseau – Indeterminate, may be the first Homo Sapiens.
Florence Welch – 100 BCE celtic queen, probably told Julius Caesar to fuck off at some point
Lorde – Late 1800s early 1900s. Manifested after a Spiritualist seance
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