my greatest disappointment i heroes of olympus is that when nico confesses his crush on percy jason doesnt just say, ‘its ok bro me too.’ and nico be like ‘what?’ and jason like ‘dude its literally the thing everyone on the argo ii talks about like even piper told me the other days she’d probably bang him if he asked and i was like go for it as long as i get to come too and like even hazel mentioned once she wanted to kiss him which you know thats like home plate for hazel’ and nico suddenly realizes he doesn’t just have a crush on an idiot hes friends with six idiots who all have crushes on percy jackson and he’s not abnormal he’s perfectly normal and also soooo over percy jackson
What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve bullshitted someone into believing?
When me and my siblings were much younger my dad owned a Volvo car with a computerized voice. It was a very deep voice that would give you warnings about the car’s status. “The boot (trunk) is not shut” being one I remember. Very creepy now I look back at it.
Me, my older brother and our dad would joke that the voice came from “a little man” inside the car. My younger sister was at an age where you could tell her anything and she would take it as gospel. She actually believed there was a tiny person with an extraordinarily deep voice living in the car. We kept it going for a long time until one day someone crashed into the vehicle and it ended up in the scrapyard. As she cried for the safety of the little man we had to tell her the truth. She was mad at us for weeks.
I convinced my kids that my car’s triangular, red, hazard button was a ‘self destruct’ button. This was initially to keep them from hitting it since it is a really prominently placed, large, red button. This worked out great until I quickly pulled the car over the other day to get a dog off the road. Threw on my hazards and jumped out of the car after the dog. I looked back and both kids are hitting the ditch.
Dealing with that kind of betrayal must have been hard for them. “Dad hit the self-destruct and ran away!!!”
Dad killed a dog, hit self-destruct on the car to remove all evidence and witnesses and ran away.
SHIT
I once briefly convinced a significant portion of my readership that it was possible to “win” Tetris.
jessie from pokemon is such an upsetting character bc her life has been a failure since the very beginning
she is a broken person
unlike for james, who could quit at any time and return to a comfortable life, for jessie, team rocket is everything she has.
she lived in poverty, with a mother who was a criminal, and they were so poor they ate snow
her mother disappeared, looking for mew. there was never a mention of jessie having a father
she wanted to be an actress, and decided to take that route instead of going with a boy she loved, but she ended up losing both as her audition didn’t go through
she wanted to be a nurse, but failed
and now she keeps failing trying to catch that god damned pikachu
as much as i like dawn i almost want jessie to win all the ribbons because she fucking deserves to be happy and she deserves those victories and she deserves a friend like james
*wipes a tear* u go girl
this post is good except for one tiny detail, and that’s that james cannot just “quit at any time and return to a comfortable life”
james’ family has riches and luxury, yes, but his parents are neglectful & uncaring and have engaged him to an abuser. they refuse to let him live in the lap of luxury unless he marries her and spends his whole life miserable.
everything about jessie and james is, from where i’m standing, intended to be opposite. james is a soft-spoken boy from a family that knows wealth but not love. jessie is a headstrong and outspoken girl from a family that knows love but is dirt poor.
the thing they have in common is that neither of them found happiness until they found each other (and meowth, of course) i know this post is about jessie, and trust me–she fucking deserves it–but you can praise her like the queen she is without making it sound like her partner has it easy. neither of them could live the lives that were handed to them with a smile on their face, and they’re both amazingly strong people for continuing to work hard every day, even if it is as antagonists.
I cant believe there is finally an analysis on team rocket im so proud
”I call it the Buoyancy Operated Aquatic Transporter, or Bo-At for short.”
”I’m not crying, I’m just sweating through my eyes”
when they all shrunk themselves and Baljeet got stuck on top of the lamp with the dead flies
“My name is Doof, and you’ll do what I say, whoop whoop!”
Candace’s voice when she had an allergic reaction to wild parsnips
“Ah, Perry The Platypus, your timing is incredible. And by incredible, I mean comPLETELY CREDIBLE!!!”
Buford’s cupid costume
”I never leave home without my velvet rope!” “Where do you keep that?” “I’ll never tell.”
”So, do I know romance or what?” “What.” “I said, do I know romanc–” “I heard you”
Phineas’s dAMN OBLIVIOUSNESS. LIKE, ISABELLA MAKES IT SO CLEAR THAT SHE LIKES HIM BUT THE BOY CAN’T TAKE A HINT
Marty the rabbit boy and his musical blender
”We small band of brothers…and girl from across the street”
”What did you think? A (insert name of object) was just going to fall out of the sky?” *said object falls out of the sky*
STAR WARS CROSSOVER
MARVEL CROSSOVER
when Doofenshmirtz gets glue all over his hands and they get stuck to records, and Perry uses the body control helmet to make Doof create what’s arguably the greatest song ever
Running from love in a bear suit
that one time Alex Hirsch guest starred as a talking juice box
“Paulllll Bunyan’s! Where the food is good (but not too good, eh?)”
“Mom! Phineas and Ferb made me!” “I have some stretch marks that would suggest otherwise.”
Baljeet and Buford’s bromance
the episode when they got the band back together. Just…that episode in its entirety.
“Hit it Carl!” “WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!” *Carl pulls lever anyway*
when Isabella out-cuted the Meaps with her own natural cuteness
“It’s a scientific fact!”
“I’m you from the future!” “Wait, I am not Indian in the future?”
“I feel reasonably sure it’s over this time. No, wait, he’s up AGAIIIIN”
when Perry bit Doofenshmirtz’s finger and Phineas says “Perry, no! We do not bite the elderly!”
Ferb’s adorable crush on Vanessa
when Baljeet accidentally takes a rock and roll summer class and gets mad because it’s not graded, and performs one hell of a song
Planty the Potted Plant
“GET ON THE TRIKE!!!”
Carl’s “Dr. Coconut” dance
Tuff Shoo Laysizz
“TREES ARE MADE OF WOOD”
O.W.C.A. Secret Headquarters (pay no attention to this sign)
“My watermelon!”
the giant floating baby head
Lots of me
when Doof got zapped with the ugly-inator and nothing changed
when Monogram kept laughing about Doofenshmirtz being abbreviated as Doof
I have seen all of five episodes from this show. Maybe.
This is a odd show.
Why do my nostrils whisper to meeeee
“thwart me, perry the platypus”
This show was the ultimate shitpost but damn it was the best
“GET ON THE TRIKE” is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen omg
ruby-dear archive 